Terrible Number One songs in the 80's

The 1980s were a decade defined by excess, vibrant fashion, and undeniably catchy music. While the era produced some timeless classics, it also gave birth to some questionable chart-toppers that leave us scratching our heads decades later. In our latest podcast episode, we dove deep into the phenomenon of terrible songs that somehow reached number one on the charts during this colorful decade.

The conversation kicked off with one of the most notorious offenders: Starship's "We Built This City." Despite featuring members from the once-respected Jefferson Airplane, this synthesizer-heavy track has been widely panned by critics and fans alike. What's truly baffling is how quickly it climbed to number one, prompting us to question the taste of the entire music industry at the time. As we discussed, many of these songs shared a common element – they were "catchy" in the most insidious way, worming their way into listeners' ears despite their lack of musical merit.

Another prime example we dissected was Falco's "Amadeus," a song that essentially bastardized classical music into a pop monstrosity. We joked that Mozart's descendants should have tracked down Falco and "kicked the ever-loving shit out of him" for this musical transgression. The conversation highlighted how even respected artists weren't immune to producing terrible hits – Stevie Wonder's "I Just Called to Say I Love You" being a perfect example. Despite Wonder's incredible catalog of funk and soul classics, this saccharine ballad felt completely disconnected from his usual style, suggesting it might have been more about commercial appeal than artistic expression.

The podcast touched on an interesting pattern in 80s music: the prevalence of synthesizers and how they often dominated tracks to their detriment. Songs like Europe's "The Final Countdown" exemplified this trend, with keyboard-heavy arrangements that overshadowed any actual musicianship. What's fascinating is the geographical difference in reception – some songs that reached number one in the UK barely cracked the top ten in the US, suggesting different cultural standards for what constituted a hit.

Perhaps the most revealing part of our discussion centered around how these songs achieved their success. Many seemed to ride waves of cultural moments rather than musical quality – like John Lennon's "Starting Over," which topped charts largely due to his tragic death rather than the song's merits. Similarly, movie soundtracks propelled mediocre songs like "Maniac" from Flashdance to chart success they might not have achieved on their own musical value.

The conversation wasn't all negative, though. We found ourselves defending certain entries on the "worst" list, particularly Poison's "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" – a power ballad that, while perhaps overplayed, demonstrated genuine emotion and songcraft that many other entries lacked. This sparked an interesting dialogue about the transition from hair metal to grunge, with bands like Guns N' Roses serving as a bridge between these distinct musical eras.

What's particularly fascinating about these 80s hits is their surprising longevity. Despite our criticisms, many of these songs continue to be played at parties and sung at karaoke bars by generations who weren't even alive when they first topped the charts. The episode wrapped up with a look at which 80s artists are still actively performing and releasing music today, from U2 and Duran Duran to Def Leppard and Journey, showing that despite some questionable hits, the musical legacy of the 80s remains remarkably resilient.