March 14, 2026

America’s Bullshit Laws

America's Bullshit Laws come into play as we take that energy and sprint across the country, pulling the weirdest state laws we can find and arguing about what could possibly have happened to make lawmakers write them down. It’s comedy, sure, but it’s also a look at how “harmless” rules can stick around for decades and turn into the legal folklore we all pass around. We hit everything from Alabama banning bear wrestling and blindfolded driving to Alaska’s no-kangaroos-in-barber-shops moment,...

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America's Bullshit Laws come into play as we take that energy and sprint across the country, pulling the weirdest state laws we can find and arguing about what could possibly have happened to make lawmakers write them down. It’s comedy, sure, but it’s also a look at how “harmless” rules can stick around for decades and turn into the legal folklore we all pass around.

We hit everything from Alabama banning bear wrestling and blindfolded driving to Alaska’s no-kangaroos-in-barber-shops moment, plus Florida drawing a hard boundary around swimsuit singing. As we go, we keep circling the same question: are these bizarre laws in America just outdated blue laws, or do they reveal something real about public safety, local culture, and people making legendary bad choices? The side quests get just as wild, including classic TV nostalgia, strong opinions on grooming rules, and the kind of riffing that only happens when you’ve got friends at a table and a microphone running.

When Oregon enters the chat, it gets personal fast: no wedding ceremonies at skating rinks, no boxing kangaroos in Myrtle Creek, and other local oddities that make you wonder who first tested the limit. We even float a run for mayor of Medford and start accepting proposals for brand-new “laws,” because why stop at reading the rulebook when you can rewrite it?

If you laughed, share this with a friend who loves weird trivia and leave a review so more people can find Almost Famous Radio. Subscribe, send it to your group chat, and tell us which strange state law you want to challenge first.

We love fan mail here but Buzzsprout will not let us reply. You can send an email jeffymcj@almostfamousradiopodcast.com and we can reply there. We love you all!

00:00 - Backyard Studio Roll Call

04:45 - Karaoke Talk And Bathroom Luck

07:55 - Building The “Olympics” Parody

12:36 - Weird Laws Begin State By State

31:38 - Gilligan’s Island And Other Detours

34:34 - More Bizarre Laws And Reactions

47:25 - Goatees Mustaches And Grooming Laws

55:39 - Cats Bells Flirting Fines And More

01:01:42 - Oregon Laws Hit Close To Home

01:04:00 - Running For Mayor And New Rules

01:14:43 - Sing Us Out And Subscribe

WEBVTT

00:00:11.679 --> 00:00:17.920
From our humble backyard studio, this is the Almost Famous Radio podcast with your host, Jeffy McJefferson.

00:00:18.320 --> 00:00:19.280
Let's go.

00:00:26.320 --> 00:00:30.160
And welcome to the Almost Famous Radio Podcast.

00:00:30.320 --> 00:00:31.920
Jeffy McJefferson here.

00:00:32.880 --> 00:00:34.159
Guess what we got today?

00:00:34.320 --> 00:00:35.280
You can't guess.

00:00:35.759 --> 00:00:37.600
You're not, you know what, you're not here.

00:00:37.679 --> 00:00:38.719
You can't guess.

00:00:39.200 --> 00:00:40.399
I've got three guess.

00:00:40.640 --> 00:00:41.759
But I'll tell you.

00:00:42.560 --> 00:00:43.439
We never hit.

00:00:43.759 --> 00:00:44.159
Hello.

00:00:44.960 --> 00:00:45.600
Darista.

00:00:46.159 --> 00:00:46.719
Hello.

00:00:47.359 --> 00:00:51.119
Mike, who was here on the old college football, but what's up?

00:00:51.359 --> 00:00:54.000
Lot of different lot of different things gonna go on today, right?

00:00:54.240 --> 00:00:55.439
Well we get to improvise.

00:00:55.840 --> 00:00:56.560
Improvise.

00:00:56.799 --> 00:00:56.960
Yeah.

00:00:57.359 --> 00:00:58.159
Improbose.

00:00:59.039 --> 00:01:00.640
And we don't have to talk about Indiana.

00:01:00.799 --> 00:01:03.679
Or is that or is that uh we can talk about the ducks?

00:01:03.840 --> 00:01:04.799
You see that game?

00:01:05.120 --> 00:01:05.439
No.

00:01:07.200 --> 00:01:07.599
Again?

00:01:07.760 --> 00:01:09.519
I saw when they got the living shit kicked out of them.

00:01:09.599 --> 00:01:10.400
Anyway, missed that one.

00:01:10.640 --> 00:01:14.959
You still haven't introduced me to any of the ducks players that may or may not be your clients.

00:01:15.519 --> 00:01:16.799
That's the other Mike.

00:01:17.040 --> 00:01:17.359
Okay.

00:01:19.439 --> 00:01:21.680
We go round the table, right?

00:01:22.719 --> 00:01:25.200
I'm drinking a diet cherry coke.

00:01:26.319 --> 00:01:26.799
Woo!

00:01:27.040 --> 00:01:27.599
Garista.

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The Sierra Nevada, Paleel, original.

00:01:31.519 --> 00:01:34.319
Mike, Manly Man's White Claw Surge.

00:01:34.480 --> 00:01:35.359
That's blood orange.

00:01:36.239 --> 00:01:36.799
Manly man.

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But everybody, every logger drinks these.

00:01:41.280 --> 00:01:42.079
And arm wrestler.

00:01:42.239 --> 00:01:43.359
Yes, our arm wrestlers.

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And Russian Turtles, I've heard.

00:01:45.840 --> 00:01:46.159
Yeah.

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And that's another story.

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Jason the Barbecue guy's in the house.

00:01:52.480 --> 00:01:53.760
Woo! Kind of chick check.

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And Karen.

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What is that koozie?

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Seven time national champions.

00:02:00.159 --> 00:02:01.200
Oregon University.

00:02:01.599 --> 00:02:02.239
Change the logo?

00:02:02.400 --> 00:02:05.760
It's Crimson and Cream, and they're they're seven-time national champions.

00:02:05.840 --> 00:02:07.599
It's called Oklahoma Universe.

00:02:08.400 --> 00:02:12.159
So, how many of those people graduated?

00:02:12.960 --> 00:02:13.680
Really doesn't matter.

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It doesn't matter.

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I don't really give a shit.

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As long as we live the crystal ball.

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There you go.

00:02:21.120 --> 00:02:22.080
Hey, next year.

00:02:22.319 --> 00:02:22.800
Again.

00:02:22.960 --> 00:02:23.759
We'll do it again.

00:02:23.919 --> 00:02:25.520
I mean, I mean us.

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Sports ball thing.

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Sports ball.

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Go team.

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Special show.

00:02:34.400 --> 00:02:34.960
I guess.

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Is it special?

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It's special.

00:02:36.879 --> 00:02:37.360
It's always special.

00:02:39.360 --> 00:02:40.240
Everyone is special.

00:02:40.400 --> 00:02:42.800
It's always impromptu.

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Are we special?

00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:44.719
We're special.

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We're like short bus people.

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Sitting here wearing a hard hat.

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We're short bus people.

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Yeah.

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Speak for yourself.

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I am.

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I used to drive the short bus.

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You're the leader of the special people.

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Legit.

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Used to drive the short bus.

00:03:01.840 --> 00:03:02.080
All right.

00:03:02.560 --> 00:03:03.759
Yes, you're an advocate.

00:03:03.919 --> 00:03:04.479
I'm the leader.

00:03:04.639 --> 00:03:05.599
Yes, ma'am.

00:03:05.840 --> 00:03:06.639
An ally.

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The leader of the short bus people is right.

00:03:10.960 --> 00:03:12.000
Leader of pumpkins.

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Leader of uh short bus pack.

00:03:15.039 --> 00:03:15.360
Okay.

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That's all I got.

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If Jody was here, she'd she'd sing one verse and that's it, just like I just did.

00:03:21.039 --> 00:03:22.560
So we're good on that.

00:03:22.800 --> 00:03:24.479
If I sing the show ends.

00:03:26.719 --> 00:03:27.919
Leave it at that.

00:03:28.319 --> 00:03:29.360
I cannot wait.

00:03:29.599 --> 00:03:32.800
Even Karen doesn't like it when I sing, and she has no idea what's going on.

00:03:34.400 --> 00:03:35.199
Want me to sing?

00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:36.319
No.

00:03:38.719 --> 00:03:39.759
That's a hard no.

00:03:40.080 --> 00:03:41.120
That's a hard no.

00:03:41.599 --> 00:03:42.240
No, thank you.

00:03:42.960 --> 00:03:43.039
No.

00:03:43.759 --> 00:03:43.919
No.

00:03:44.240 --> 00:03:47.280
Well, thank God we're not doing a music deal today, then.

00:03:47.360 --> 00:03:50.080
So because that's that's the B side.

00:03:51.280 --> 00:03:51.759
I don't know.

00:03:51.840 --> 00:03:53.439
I kind of want to hear Mike singing right now.

00:03:54.639 --> 00:03:56.479
After all that, I kind of want to hear Mike singing.

00:03:56.800 --> 00:03:57.280
No, you don't.

00:03:57.439 --> 00:03:57.759
Kind of.

00:03:57.919 --> 00:04:00.400
There's no reason to end your podcast this early.

00:04:05.199 --> 00:04:06.639
I do an amazing journey.

00:04:06.800 --> 00:04:08.960
Oh, that's your or or the eagles.

00:04:09.520 --> 00:04:09.759
Which one?

00:04:09.919 --> 00:04:10.879
Which eagles?

00:04:11.199 --> 00:04:12.879
The one where he's doing the really high-pitched.

00:04:13.759 --> 00:04:17.360
I've been told I've been told I've been an amazing back singer.

00:04:17.439 --> 00:04:18.639
The farther I back up, the better I should have.

00:04:19.199 --> 00:04:20.639
What's your eagle song?

00:04:21.120 --> 00:04:23.839
If you went to karaoke, what would your eagle song be?

00:04:24.160 --> 00:04:25.439
It's Hotel California.

00:04:26.399 --> 00:04:28.000
And that's the song you would karaoke.

00:04:28.160 --> 00:04:29.199
I I play the drums to it.

00:04:29.279 --> 00:04:29.759
I don't sing to it.

00:04:31.279 --> 00:04:31.680
I'm setting up.

00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:32.319
I'm a drummer.

00:04:32.399 --> 00:04:32.959
I'm not a singer.

00:04:33.120 --> 00:04:35.040
Okay, so then we have to have a Don Henley song.

00:04:35.360 --> 00:04:36.079
Oh, Don Henley.

00:04:36.160 --> 00:04:36.240
Oh.

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Because he's a drummer singer.

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Bob-headed bleachbond comes on at five.

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There you go.

00:04:40.560 --> 00:04:41.600
She can tell you about the playing class.

00:04:43.439 --> 00:04:45.040
No, but that's Don Henley.

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Man.

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Ladies and gentlemen.

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Okay.

00:04:48.399 --> 00:04:49.519
Don fucking Henley.

00:04:52.480 --> 00:04:54.560
Didn't know we have a special guest today.

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Oh no.

00:04:55.279 --> 00:04:57.600
I don't think I wasn't singing California either.

00:04:57.759 --> 00:04:58.800
Don Henley, what are you drinking?

00:04:58.879 --> 00:04:59.680
I don't know what you were singing.

00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:02.560
Yeah, I'm drinking uh chess beer today.

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So okay.

00:05:03.120 --> 00:05:03.839
Thanks, Don Henley.

00:05:05.040 --> 00:05:05.759
The other main guy.

00:05:07.040 --> 00:05:07.519
The guy who's dead.

00:05:07.839 --> 00:05:08.480
Glenn Fry.

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He's not here today.

00:05:10.000 --> 00:05:10.079
Yeah.

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He's not here today.

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Okay.

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We won't be here.

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No.

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But he's he's drinking up in heaven.

00:05:14.720 --> 00:05:15.600
There you go.

00:05:15.839 --> 00:05:18.399
Rayette's actually gonna run the show today.

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Go girl.

00:05:19.600 --> 00:05:20.160
Well kinda.

00:05:20.480 --> 00:05:21.120
She's a runner.

00:05:21.519 --> 00:05:22.240
She are.

00:05:24.399 --> 00:05:26.240
Wait, before we Sorry to interrupt.

00:05:26.399 --> 00:05:26.639
That's okay.

00:05:27.360 --> 00:05:31.600
Before we start, can somebody tell me how Hotel California California starts?

00:05:31.839 --> 00:05:32.319
Yeah.

00:05:34.319 --> 00:05:34.639
Yeah, we can.

00:05:37.040 --> 00:05:37.680
Doesn't sound right.

00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:39.360
That's the guitar strings.

00:05:39.439 --> 00:05:41.199
That's not the words, dumbass.

00:05:41.360 --> 00:05:43.360
It's the guitar strings.

00:05:43.680 --> 00:05:44.959
Oh no, you don't.

00:05:45.600 --> 00:05:45.920
Mr.

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Mike O'Neill's case was everything right there.

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Uh-uh.

00:05:53.360 --> 00:05:54.639
Are you talking about lyric-wise?

00:05:55.759 --> 00:05:57.040
You're starting to sound like Joni Mitchell.

00:05:58.480 --> 00:05:58.560
Yes.

00:06:00.720 --> 00:06:01.040
Thank you.

00:06:01.519 --> 00:06:02.720
That sounds way better than I would have.

00:06:03.360 --> 00:06:04.639
I don't know what the fuck you were doing.

00:06:04.800 --> 00:06:06.240
I was doing the instrument.

00:06:06.800 --> 00:06:08.720
I'm a way better instrument than I am a vocal.

00:06:08.959 --> 00:06:09.920
Evidently.

00:06:11.600 --> 00:06:13.199
I played the drums to that song perfect.

00:06:13.759 --> 00:06:14.000
All right.

00:06:14.079 --> 00:06:16.319
Now I can sleep at night because I know how that song sounds.

00:06:16.480 --> 00:06:17.040
I was pretty good.

00:06:18.160 --> 00:06:18.959
I'm not sure about that.

00:06:19.040 --> 00:06:19.439
But okay.

00:06:19.680 --> 00:06:20.800
Didn't see that voice coming out of you.

00:06:20.879 --> 00:06:21.839
I'm impressed.

00:06:22.319 --> 00:06:23.600
Neither did I.

00:06:24.639 --> 00:06:25.439
I got lucky.

00:06:25.600 --> 00:06:27.040
One time in my life, I got lucky.

00:06:27.439 --> 00:06:27.600
Twice.

00:06:28.399 --> 00:06:28.639
Once here.

00:06:28.800 --> 00:06:30.560
I hit a couple of lucky with Red.

00:06:31.199 --> 00:06:38.879
And then I hit a couple of green lights, you know, on the way home when I had to take a fucking shit.

00:06:39.040 --> 00:06:45.199
So other than that, I'm not talking about that.

00:06:45.279 --> 00:06:47.360
That's the best kind of luck you can get on these days.

00:06:47.680 --> 00:06:48.000
Hey.

00:06:48.240 --> 00:06:48.800
You know.

00:06:49.759 --> 00:06:50.560
Nothing worse than a red light.

00:06:52.399 --> 00:06:53.839
No, that thing is shredded.

00:06:55.199 --> 00:06:56.240
We had a tornado in Mitford.

00:06:56.319 --> 00:06:58.160
I'm gonna go ahead and say here's what sucks about that.

00:06:58.240 --> 00:07:03.120
I I I know I'm going off course as usual, but like I said, I got I was hitting some green lights.

00:07:03.199 --> 00:07:05.360
I was like feeling pretty good because I had to go home.

00:07:05.519 --> 00:07:08.000
We ate breakfast, had to take a fucking shit.

00:07:08.160 --> 00:07:10.800
And did you get a country fred steak?

00:07:10.879 --> 00:07:11.439
Well, hang on a minute.

00:07:11.680 --> 00:07:12.079
You did.

00:07:12.800 --> 00:07:13.360
I knew it.

00:07:14.720 --> 00:07:17.680
I had like a sneaker fest on the street, man, when I turned.

00:07:17.839 --> 00:07:22.879
I was like, having to sneeze when you have to take a fucking shit.

00:07:23.120 --> 00:07:24.560
Was it the hash browns or the square?

00:07:24.879 --> 00:07:25.439
It's not good.

00:07:25.600 --> 00:07:26.240
Hash browns.

00:07:26.319 --> 00:07:26.480
Yeah.

00:07:26.800 --> 00:07:27.439
Great stuff.

00:07:27.920 --> 00:07:28.160
Yeah.

00:07:28.480 --> 00:07:30.879
It was all lube up and ready to go.

00:07:32.160 --> 00:07:33.839
Well, lube is one of our elliptics sports.

00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:34.480
Not the lube.

00:07:35.120 --> 00:07:35.439
But lube.

00:07:35.600 --> 00:07:36.560
So see, this all ties together.

00:07:36.639 --> 00:07:36.879
I like.

00:07:37.839 --> 00:07:38.240
Yeah.

00:07:38.560 --> 00:07:39.360
It's the lube.

00:07:39.439 --> 00:07:40.399
Oh, it's the lube.

00:07:40.720 --> 00:07:42.959
So if anybody out there it's a it's a lube-loo.

00:07:43.680 --> 00:07:43.839
Yeah.

00:07:43.920 --> 00:07:47.120
And and fortunately I didn't, you know, shit the drawers.

00:07:47.439 --> 00:07:51.040
So it's a good day when that doesn't happen.

00:07:51.279 --> 00:07:51.759
It's a good day.

00:07:51.920 --> 00:07:52.240
Amen.

00:07:53.920 --> 00:07:55.279
You know, but here's something special.

00:07:55.600 --> 00:07:59.519
The people who listen to this one are on the ground floor of our new endeavor.

00:07:59.680 --> 00:07:59.920
That's right.

00:08:00.160 --> 00:08:00.639
The Olympics.

00:08:00.720 --> 00:08:01.120
Yeah, you want that.

00:08:01.199 --> 00:08:01.920
Yeah, the Olympics.

00:08:02.000 --> 00:08:03.759
So it's it's a it's it's a work in progress.

00:08:04.079 --> 00:08:05.199
We're gonna get into that too.

00:08:05.360 --> 00:08:07.839
I mean, not today, but I mean our administrator's here.

00:08:08.000 --> 00:08:10.319
We've already hired her for no salary.

00:08:13.279 --> 00:08:14.319
Well, she's she's working for free.

00:08:14.639 --> 00:08:17.360
Yeah, you guys are gonna do the Olympics, right?

00:08:17.680 --> 00:08:18.879
You're double dipping?

00:08:19.040 --> 00:08:21.600
Well, it depends who who gives me the best deal.

00:08:22.079 --> 00:08:22.720
Oh, wow.

00:08:23.040 --> 00:08:24.000
I I'm gonna negotiate.

00:08:24.399 --> 00:08:25.519
Once you deal with the Olympics.

00:08:25.759 --> 00:08:26.240
Of course I'm gonna do that.

00:08:26.399 --> 00:08:27.199
I think you'll like Arthur.

00:08:27.600 --> 00:08:27.759
Yeah.

00:08:27.920 --> 00:08:28.480
We have Peggy.

00:08:28.800 --> 00:08:34.320
Would you rather see a whole bunch of naked chicks or a bunch of I haven't decided yet?

00:08:34.639 --> 00:08:36.080
Well, I mean, the the Olympics.

00:08:36.960 --> 00:08:38.480
The Olympics have a possibility.

00:08:38.799 --> 00:08:39.759
There's opportunity yet.

00:08:40.000 --> 00:08:40.399
Anybody else?

00:08:40.799 --> 00:08:41.519
And the eyes have it.

00:08:42.799 --> 00:08:46.159
I mean, naturally, I've got to pay for the the chicks.

00:08:46.480 --> 00:08:49.039
Karen, please raise your hand because that way we all have the majority.

00:08:49.519 --> 00:08:49.679
No.

00:08:50.159 --> 00:08:50.399
We can't.

00:08:50.559 --> 00:08:50.639
Okay.

00:08:50.960 --> 00:08:51.200
No.

00:08:51.360 --> 00:08:52.320
Don't do it, Karen.

00:08:52.559 --> 00:08:53.200
Don't do it.

00:08:53.440 --> 00:08:53.759
No.

00:08:54.000 --> 00:08:55.840
Okay, now you can do it with us.

00:08:56.320 --> 00:08:56.639
No!

00:08:59.600 --> 00:09:03.279
Well, I have to look at both business business proposals, you know.

00:09:03.600 --> 00:09:03.840
Yeah.

00:09:04.320 --> 00:09:05.360
Well, we're gonna get together.

00:09:05.519 --> 00:09:09.919
Me and Mike and Jason and everybody, we're gonna put together the Olymp Olympics.

00:09:11.039 --> 00:09:11.679
Olympchics?

00:09:11.759 --> 00:09:14.879
I think it's an annual, yeah.

00:09:15.120 --> 00:09:21.120
And what's the summer game, one have a summer day games one year and a winter games another year.

00:09:21.440 --> 00:09:23.759
And you know, stay tuned because we'll get into that.

00:09:24.000 --> 00:09:25.759
But we're gonna have quarterly sports.

00:09:25.919 --> 00:09:27.600
So oh Olymp dicks.

00:09:27.919 --> 00:09:28.799
Oh, optional.

00:09:28.960 --> 00:09:29.279
Yeah.

00:09:29.440 --> 00:09:29.600
Well.

00:09:29.840 --> 00:09:30.000
Yeah.

00:09:30.159 --> 00:09:32.480
We're gonna have spring, summer, fall, and winter.

00:09:32.799 --> 00:09:33.519
Helicoptering.

00:09:33.679 --> 00:09:33.840
Oh.

00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:34.080
Yeah.

00:09:34.480 --> 00:09:34.720
Okay.

00:09:34.799 --> 00:09:36.480
That'll work for you guys, I guess.

00:09:36.879 --> 00:09:37.120
Yeah.

00:09:37.440 --> 00:09:38.000
Viewership.

00:09:38.480 --> 00:09:41.120
I guess we should get on the business at hand.

00:09:41.440 --> 00:09:42.080
Just like curling.

00:09:43.759 --> 00:09:43.840
Oh.

00:09:44.240 --> 00:09:45.759
We call it pegging, not curling.

00:09:46.159 --> 00:09:46.399
Yeah.

00:09:46.639 --> 00:09:47.519
You've got to hit the hole.

00:09:47.759 --> 00:10:08.720
Yeah, we have a certain guy that we have set up for the receiver of the pegging, and I'm not going to mention his name, but there was there was an election in I don't know what year it was, but they were hanging those things in Florida.

00:10:09.440 --> 00:10:10.159
What are you talking about?

00:10:10.320 --> 00:10:11.440
You're not clear.

00:10:12.320 --> 00:10:18.480
Oh, you talking about the George Bush election that was like no 18 years old.

00:10:19.440 --> 00:10:19.679
Very close.

00:10:19.919 --> 00:10:20.559
That's all we were saying.

00:10:24.240 --> 00:10:25.279
That's all.

00:10:26.720 --> 00:10:27.519
So they were hanging.

00:10:28.320 --> 00:10:29.679
They were hanging those.

00:10:30.000 --> 00:10:31.679
So that's the guy we're gonna get.

00:10:34.559 --> 00:10:35.840
Ah, okay.

00:10:36.240 --> 00:10:41.360
I think we also had the uh the nipple eyeball poke.

00:10:41.679 --> 00:10:42.879
Yeah, we do have that.

00:10:43.759 --> 00:10:44.480
That's only in the winter.

00:10:45.360 --> 00:10:46.399
It's only in the Winter Olympics, though.

00:10:46.480 --> 00:10:48.080
We're so off topic right now, it's unfortunate.

00:10:48.480 --> 00:10:50.559
Well, not working the Summer Olympics, you know that.

00:10:50.879 --> 00:10:53.759
Yeah, we're then not very organized at this moment.

00:10:54.080 --> 00:10:54.320
All right.

00:10:57.279 --> 00:11:00.399
So so we're sitting on the car.

00:11:03.519 --> 00:11:04.559
There are a couple ideas.

00:11:04.799 --> 00:11:06.720
Yeah, we are way structured in the college football one.

00:11:07.039 --> 00:11:10.240
Like, how do we how do we play off of the Olympics, right?

00:11:10.480 --> 00:11:11.759
Oh, you guys have to talk about it.

00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:16.879
And there's like different many different options for games, right?

00:11:17.039 --> 00:11:20.159
And so let's talk about the biathlon.

00:11:20.480 --> 00:11:23.279
Well, yeah, that's what we talked.

00:11:23.519 --> 00:11:29.279
That's what we spoke about is like maybe there's a women's league and there's a men's league, and we'll get back to you guys.

00:11:29.519 --> 00:11:30.799
We'll get back to the city.

00:11:30.960 --> 00:11:34.559
We will get back to once we once we get it all figured out and you guys will love it.

00:11:34.720 --> 00:11:37.840
And so Red actually has Robin?

00:11:38.080 --> 00:11:40.720
Yeah, I I have to I have to stop this sometime because we keep going.

00:11:41.039 --> 00:11:42.080
I thought that's what we were talking about.

00:11:42.159 --> 00:11:42.559
What do you mean?

00:11:42.639 --> 00:11:42.720
No.

00:11:43.120 --> 00:11:43.360
No.

00:11:43.600 --> 00:11:44.879
Rayette's running this show.

00:11:44.960 --> 00:11:45.279
Oops.

00:11:45.600 --> 00:11:45.759
Oh.

00:11:47.759 --> 00:11:49.440
Let me just put my tail between my legs.

00:11:49.840 --> 00:11:50.559
We don't know French.

00:11:50.799 --> 00:11:56.639
No, we gotta come up with all of our games first before we can talk about it.

00:11:56.879 --> 00:12:00.559
Yeah, then we'll get on here and I thought we were freewilling about them for the people.

00:12:00.960 --> 00:12:02.159
Some are free willing.

00:12:04.480 --> 00:12:05.120
Free William.

00:12:06.559 --> 00:12:07.200
Free William.

00:12:08.080 --> 00:12:10.159
Don't take our sporting events.

00:12:11.519 --> 00:12:12.799
Free Prince William.

00:12:13.039 --> 00:12:14.480
How long can you hang it out?

00:12:14.559 --> 00:12:14.799
Yeah.

00:12:14.879 --> 00:12:15.679
How long can you go?

00:12:15.759 --> 00:12:16.639
Where we at, Raya?

00:12:16.799 --> 00:12:17.360
How long?

00:12:17.600 --> 00:12:17.840
Hello?

00:12:18.960 --> 00:12:20.240
How long can you go?

00:12:20.559 --> 00:12:20.799
Hello.

00:12:23.679 --> 00:12:26.159
I was cut off from I was cut off from singing.

00:12:26.240 --> 00:12:28.000
I thought now we can sing again.

00:12:30.559 --> 00:12:30.879
Okay.

00:12:31.519 --> 00:12:31.679
Okay.

00:12:31.840 --> 00:12:32.960
Karaoke time is over.

00:12:33.120 --> 00:12:33.919
Don't want me in there.

00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:34.960
Okay, Rayot.

00:12:35.840 --> 00:12:36.320
Alright.

00:12:36.639 --> 00:12:41.600
So, idea I had for this was some dumb laws.

00:12:42.320 --> 00:12:46.240
Dumb, crazy laws that are out there in each state.

00:12:47.519 --> 00:12:50.639
So I thought it might be fun to discuss some of them.

00:12:50.960 --> 00:12:51.600
Let's discuss.

00:12:51.919 --> 00:12:53.600
Do they all come out of California?

00:12:53.840 --> 00:12:54.159
No.

00:12:54.399 --> 00:12:55.519
No, they're all in the south.

00:12:56.559 --> 00:12:57.600
You know that to be true.

00:12:58.639 --> 00:13:01.200
I got some for each of the 50 states.

00:13:01.360 --> 00:13:01.840
Oh, good.

00:13:02.000 --> 00:13:02.639
The fitting.

00:13:03.600 --> 00:13:04.720
Oh, representative.

00:13:04.799 --> 00:13:05.039
Good.

00:13:05.120 --> 00:13:07.279
We'll just start off with everybody's representative.

00:13:07.600 --> 00:13:08.399
Everyone's favorite.

00:13:08.639 --> 00:13:09.440
Alabama.

00:13:09.759 --> 00:13:10.960
Alabama.

00:13:11.600 --> 00:13:12.240
Yeah.

00:13:13.120 --> 00:13:14.480
It makes me think of that ducks game.

00:13:15.679 --> 00:13:20.480
Just so you know, bear wrestling matches are prohibited there.

00:13:20.720 --> 00:13:21.120
The what?

00:13:21.200 --> 00:13:21.440
Why?

00:13:21.679 --> 00:13:22.000
Bear.

00:13:22.159 --> 00:13:22.799
Bear?

00:13:23.279 --> 00:13:24.000
Wrestling matches.

00:13:24.399 --> 00:13:26.000
Like real bear grizzly bear?

00:13:27.360 --> 00:13:27.919
How are we supposed to be able to do it?

00:13:28.159 --> 00:13:30.080
There's no fucking bears in Alabama.

00:13:30.320 --> 00:13:31.120
No, I'm just saying.

00:13:32.399 --> 00:13:33.039
Oh, it's real?

00:13:33.279 --> 00:13:33.679
Yeah.

00:13:33.840 --> 00:13:34.639
That's a law.

00:13:35.120 --> 00:13:36.080
It is in Alabama.

00:13:36.320 --> 00:13:38.960
Oh, because I was going to say, are you in cock fights in Alabama?

00:13:39.440 --> 00:13:40.879
Well, it doesn't say you can't.

00:13:41.279 --> 00:13:41.519
Okay.

00:13:41.600 --> 00:13:42.240
I'm just wondering.

00:13:42.559 --> 00:13:43.840
No, only bears prohibited.

00:13:44.159 --> 00:13:45.679
Well, that's PETA.

00:13:47.360 --> 00:13:47.600
Go ahead.

00:13:47.840 --> 00:13:48.399
Save the bears.

00:13:48.720 --> 00:13:51.360
You also can't chain your alligator to a fire hydrant.

00:13:51.679 --> 00:13:54.000
Didn't know there were alligators in Alabama either.

00:13:54.320 --> 00:13:54.639
What?

00:13:54.799 --> 00:13:55.120
Oh, yeah.

00:13:55.759 --> 00:13:56.639
It's a Gulf state.

00:13:56.720 --> 00:13:57.120
Are you serious?

00:13:57.360 --> 00:13:58.000
It's a Gulf state.

00:13:58.399 --> 00:13:59.840
You don't know about your geography, sir.

00:14:00.159 --> 00:14:00.559
I do.

00:14:00.639 --> 00:14:02.000
I just don't go to Alabama much.

00:14:02.240 --> 00:14:02.799
I don't blame you.

00:14:02.960 --> 00:14:06.000
I like to hang around people who can read.

00:14:06.240 --> 00:14:10.480
But if you do, you can't chain it to a you can't chain your alligator to a fire hydrant.

00:14:10.720 --> 00:14:11.200
Makes perfect sense.

00:14:11.279 --> 00:14:12.080
What if there's a fire?

00:14:12.399 --> 00:14:12.879
Excuse me.

00:14:13.039 --> 00:14:15.600
Can you imagine the fireman who had to go take the alligator away?

00:14:15.919 --> 00:14:17.039
That's probably why it became a law.

00:14:17.679 --> 00:14:18.080
Brilliant.

00:14:18.399 --> 00:14:19.840
That's probably why it became a law.

00:14:20.080 --> 00:14:20.720
I'm all on that.

00:14:20.879 --> 00:14:23.039
Alabama people will start to look smarter to me every day.

00:14:23.200 --> 00:14:23.840
Yeah.

00:14:24.240 --> 00:14:29.279
And and this one, too, really makes a lot of sense that they would have this one.

00:14:29.360 --> 00:14:33.200
It's illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.

00:14:34.399 --> 00:14:35.919
What if they lost the bet?

00:14:36.559 --> 00:14:39.039
Well then he has to drink Montuckey.

00:14:46.799 --> 00:14:47.519
Too much.

00:14:50.000 --> 00:14:52.399
I think the officer would take that into account.

00:14:53.200 --> 00:14:54.080
Montucky.

00:14:59.519 --> 00:15:00.320
The entire state.

00:15:01.120 --> 00:15:01.919
I mean, that's pitiful.

00:15:02.320 --> 00:15:03.919
Under double digits.

00:15:04.320 --> 00:15:04.559
Yeah.

00:15:05.120 --> 00:15:06.320
You're digging way too deep.

00:15:06.799 --> 00:15:07.440
That's unfortunate.

00:15:07.519 --> 00:15:08.720
No, that's not too deep.

00:15:08.879 --> 00:15:09.679
That's very unfortunate.

00:15:10.000 --> 00:15:10.799
We have to silly.

00:15:15.440 --> 00:15:16.000
Exactly.

00:15:16.159 --> 00:15:17.279
That's the whole thing of these.

00:15:17.440 --> 00:15:20.240
Like we thought politicians nowadays were stupid.

00:15:21.120 --> 00:15:21.679
Like what?

00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:23.679
At some point it had to happen.

00:15:24.879 --> 00:15:25.840
So here's the thing.

00:15:26.399 --> 00:15:29.200
With at some point it had to happen.

00:15:29.679 --> 00:15:29.919
Right?

00:15:30.080 --> 00:15:30.639
The blindfold.

00:15:30.960 --> 00:15:36.480
I mean the you have to make rules or laws because of people.

00:15:37.039 --> 00:15:41.279
Well they're doing these things.

00:15:41.600 --> 00:15:42.399
Making poor choices.

00:15:42.720 --> 00:15:45.120
You ever seen the movie real bad choices?

00:15:45.519 --> 00:15:46.639
The guy who was blind.

00:15:49.759 --> 00:15:50.480
Oh, Ray Charles?

00:15:50.639 --> 00:15:50.960
No, no.

00:15:51.039 --> 00:15:58.399
It was it was it was a funny movie, but they went out drinking, and the blind guy, their buddy, is driving and they get in the wreck.

00:15:58.559 --> 00:16:00.960
And the cop is like, so let me get this straight.

00:16:01.120 --> 00:16:01.679
You're blind?

00:16:01.919 --> 00:16:02.960
He's like, Yeah.

00:16:03.840 --> 00:16:04.480
Why are you driving?

00:16:04.639 --> 00:16:06.639
He goes, because I'm the only one who's sober.

00:16:08.480 --> 00:16:08.720
Okay.

00:16:09.039 --> 00:16:09.360
Exactly.

00:16:10.559 --> 00:16:12.080
Makes perfect sense.

00:16:14.559 --> 00:16:15.679
Because blank guys are not going to be a good thing.

00:16:15.840 --> 00:16:16.799
I don't know how I don't know.

00:16:16.960 --> 00:16:18.159
I don't know how you can argue with that.

00:16:18.320 --> 00:16:20.480
We got a drunk guy trying to navigate, it didn't work.

00:16:20.960 --> 00:16:23.759
But he was the sober ones driving.

00:16:24.639 --> 00:16:25.840
That's responsibility right there.

00:16:26.159 --> 00:16:26.799
That is responsible.

00:16:27.200 --> 00:16:27.360
Okay.

00:16:27.519 --> 00:16:28.240
That's a good friend.

00:16:28.480 --> 00:16:29.279
That's a solid friend.

00:16:29.519 --> 00:16:29.919
I got you.

00:16:30.080 --> 00:16:31.120
Don't worry, I got you.

00:16:31.360 --> 00:16:32.240
I'll drink to that.

00:16:32.480 --> 00:16:34.559
I can't see what you look like, but I got you.

00:16:35.039 --> 00:16:36.159
I got you, brother.

00:16:37.039 --> 00:16:38.159
So Alaska.

00:16:38.480 --> 00:16:38.799
Woo!

00:16:39.120 --> 00:16:40.000
Oh, that should be good.

00:16:40.159 --> 00:16:41.039
The enchantment state.

00:16:41.120 --> 00:16:42.240
No, it's not the enchantment state.

00:16:42.320 --> 00:16:43.679
I don't even know what the hell Alaska is.

00:16:44.399 --> 00:16:46.720
I don't even understand this one, okay?

00:16:48.159 --> 00:16:50.879
Because I didn't know they even had this animal there.

00:16:51.360 --> 00:16:51.679
What?

00:16:51.840 --> 00:16:55.039
Kangaroos are not allowed in barber shops at any time.

00:16:55.919 --> 00:16:57.519
Kangaroos are real.

00:16:58.480 --> 00:16:59.120
This cannot be real.

00:16:59.279 --> 00:17:00.080
Are there kangaroos?

00:17:00.320 --> 00:17:00.559
These are real.

00:17:01.360 --> 00:17:01.679
These are real.

00:17:01.840 --> 00:17:01.919
No.

00:17:02.480 --> 00:17:02.879
No, they're not.

00:17:03.679 --> 00:17:03.840
No.

00:17:04.799 --> 00:17:05.440
This is real.

00:17:05.759 --> 00:17:05.920
No.

00:17:06.000 --> 00:17:07.440
Ask chat GPT again.

00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:08.799
Also that works.

00:17:08.960 --> 00:17:09.680
This is not real.

00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:16.240
Also Unless they got loose from a It's illegal to whisper in someone's ear while they are moose hunting.

00:17:16.880 --> 00:17:18.400
That's more believable.

00:17:19.359 --> 00:17:20.799
You distract their shot, I guess.

00:17:21.039 --> 00:17:21.200
Yeah.

00:17:21.599 --> 00:17:22.160
That's more believable.

00:17:22.480 --> 00:17:23.119
I don't understand that one.

00:17:26.559 --> 00:17:28.960
Not barber shop, but what if it's in a like more of a full shop?

00:17:29.200 --> 00:17:29.759
I think that's allowed.

00:17:30.079 --> 00:17:30.160
Okay.

00:17:30.480 --> 00:17:31.839
Yeah, because that's different than a barber shop.

00:17:32.079 --> 00:17:32.400
Because yeah.

00:17:33.359 --> 00:17:36.079
Or way more compatible with kangaroos and they can come in.

00:17:36.319 --> 00:17:36.640
I got you.

00:17:36.799 --> 00:17:41.359
Plus, you know, they nurse their they have their young in their tummy like you know, like a pack.

00:17:41.680 --> 00:17:44.559
Like I think maybe kangaroos are just hostile towards men, and that's why.

00:17:44.960 --> 00:17:45.519
That's probably it.

00:17:45.599 --> 00:17:46.400
Yeah, you're probably right.

00:17:46.559 --> 00:17:47.680
That's probably why that was written.

00:17:47.839 --> 00:17:48.079
Yeah.

00:17:48.799 --> 00:17:49.680
Maybe they'll solve that problem.

00:17:49.759 --> 00:17:50.400
Maybe they'll solve that.

00:17:50.559 --> 00:17:52.160
I mean, most of them are single mothers.

00:17:52.640 --> 00:17:55.200
Maybe those fuckers jumped over there from Australia.

00:17:55.519 --> 00:17:57.759
Well, remember the Bering Strait used to be a frozen path.

00:17:57.920 --> 00:17:58.319
Yeah, it was.

00:17:58.720 --> 00:17:59.440
That's how they got over there.

00:17:59.519 --> 00:17:59.599
Yeah.

00:18:00.240 --> 00:18:02.240
There's probably a lot of hidden underground kangaroos.

00:18:02.640 --> 00:18:03.440
They probably slid.

00:18:04.160 --> 00:18:05.680
They disguise themselves as huskies.

00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:06.480
Slid?

00:18:06.720 --> 00:18:09.920
Did you know in Arizona donkeys can't sleep in bathtubs?

00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:11.680
No, I did not know that.

00:18:12.000 --> 00:18:14.559
Is the bathtub full or empty?

00:18:15.039 --> 00:18:16.079
It doesn't specify.

00:18:16.160 --> 00:18:17.119
So maybe more.

00:18:18.319 --> 00:18:19.359
Indoor or outdoor?

00:18:21.279 --> 00:18:23.200
Does hot tubs include bathtubs?

00:18:23.920 --> 00:18:24.640
No, I think clothlets.

00:18:24.799 --> 00:18:26.960
I think they would be allowed in a clothlet standard?

00:18:27.119 --> 00:18:28.240
I think they would be allowed in a hot tub.

00:18:28.480 --> 00:18:29.119
So would you turn me in?

00:18:30.079 --> 00:18:36.559
Yeah, would you turn me in if I fell asleep in in Arizona and say, hey, this ass fell asleep in the bathtub?

00:18:37.920 --> 00:18:39.680
You'd probably be arrested.

00:18:40.559 --> 00:18:42.000
No, she would just call an air.

00:18:42.160 --> 00:18:43.200
Especially if it's in your neighbor's boss.

00:18:43.519 --> 00:18:46.799
She would let an ass asleep in the bathtub, 911.

00:18:46.960 --> 00:18:49.920
She would let you experience your natural consequences.

00:18:53.359 --> 00:18:54.559
That's a waste of money to bail you up.

00:18:54.880 --> 00:18:55.599
You're drunk again, aren't you?

00:18:56.319 --> 00:18:56.640
How do you know?

00:18:56.799 --> 00:18:57.519
And you can even go back to the show.

00:18:57.680 --> 00:18:58.000
You don't live here.

00:18:58.240 --> 00:19:01.279
You can go jackass, this jackass or this ass fell asleep in the city.

00:19:01.440 --> 00:19:01.680
That's right.

00:19:01.839 --> 00:19:02.319
Yeah, okay.

00:19:02.400 --> 00:19:07.599
So I'm not gonna sleep in a bathtub in Arizona anytime soon, I guess.

00:19:07.920 --> 00:19:08.480
No, I wouldn't.

00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:10.160
It would be a hot tub in no time.

00:19:10.480 --> 00:19:13.599
Oh, well, in Arkansas, you can't keep an alligator in the bathtub.

00:19:13.839 --> 00:19:14.319
Whoa.

00:19:15.920 --> 00:19:18.960
I mean, that we're really protecting bathtubs.

00:19:19.200 --> 00:19:19.839
That's kind of legit.

00:19:20.319 --> 00:19:24.960
Because there are alligators alligators in Arkansas.

00:19:25.279 --> 00:19:26.000
In zoos.

00:19:30.960 --> 00:19:31.680
You need to lock your door.

00:19:32.000 --> 00:19:33.759
Are they allowed in barbershops?

00:19:34.640 --> 00:19:35.680
I think they are, yeah.

00:19:38.799 --> 00:19:40.319
That's actually the next law.

00:19:40.640 --> 00:19:43.440
Alligators are allowed in barbershops.

00:19:43.759 --> 00:19:48.559
A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.

00:19:50.000 --> 00:19:52.400
What if they bob the principal?

00:19:52.640 --> 00:19:53.920
So that's allowed.

00:19:54.400 --> 00:19:54.640
Okay.

00:19:55.839 --> 00:19:56.559
Or the superintendent.

00:19:56.799 --> 00:19:57.279
That one's allowed.

00:19:57.519 --> 00:19:59.680
Quit bobbing your hair, bob the principal, get a raise.

00:19:59.839 --> 00:20:00.079
There you go.

00:20:00.240 --> 00:20:03.680
Yeah, if you bob the principal and you bob the superintendent, you you got it.

00:20:04.799 --> 00:20:05.920
There's room for a band people.

00:20:06.160 --> 00:20:08.640
Well, and then it makes you wonder like how old are some of these laws?

00:20:08.799 --> 00:20:10.559
Because you know, stuff gets put on the books.

00:20:10.799 --> 00:20:10.880
Yeah.

00:20:11.119 --> 00:20:12.319
Nobody even knows it's there anymore.

00:20:12.640 --> 00:20:16.319
And and you know, it was there for a reason at some point.

00:20:23.839 --> 00:20:25.039
Christo, I can't believe you did it.

00:20:25.200 --> 00:20:25.759
God wishes.

00:20:26.720 --> 00:20:27.519
Oh, God.

00:20:27.920 --> 00:20:28.240
Yeah.

00:20:29.039 --> 00:20:29.519
So yeah.

00:20:29.759 --> 00:20:31.279
Well Chris is trying to get a raise.

00:20:31.599 --> 00:20:33.359
California's got some really good ones.

00:20:33.599 --> 00:20:34.400
Oh, I'm sure they do.

00:20:34.640 --> 00:20:36.880
Oh, here's your state there, Mikey.

00:20:37.759 --> 00:20:38.799
That's his state.

00:20:39.200 --> 00:20:41.440
No, no, he's talking about he was waiting for this shit.

00:20:41.680 --> 00:20:44.400
I'm hoping they're going to join their own union.

00:20:44.720 --> 00:20:48.000
Women cannot drive in a house coat in California.

00:20:48.400 --> 00:20:49.039
What's a house coat?

00:20:49.279 --> 00:20:49.920
Is that a bathrobe?

00:20:50.160 --> 00:20:50.640
Bathrobe.

00:20:51.200 --> 00:20:51.440
Oh.

00:20:55.680 --> 00:20:57.440
In a convertible or in any car?

00:20:58.720 --> 00:20:59.039
Oh yeah.

00:20:59.359 --> 00:21:00.240
It just has a drive.

00:21:02.319 --> 00:21:02.720
I know.

00:21:02.880 --> 00:21:04.160
Some of these are really dumb.

00:21:04.480 --> 00:21:08.000
Does that emit too many like carbon fumes into the air?

00:21:08.720 --> 00:21:14.559
And in Hollywood, it's illegal to drive more than 2,000 sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.

00:21:20.799 --> 00:21:21.839
Karen left that.

00:21:22.240 --> 00:21:23.839
Even Karen got that.

00:21:24.640 --> 00:21:26.240
And that's hard to do.

00:21:29.680 --> 00:21:32.000
Alzheimer's is a wonderful thing.

00:21:33.200 --> 00:21:36.319
There are sheep walking down California roads all the day.

00:21:36.480 --> 00:21:37.599
So that's okay.

00:21:40.720 --> 00:21:43.440
We're talking about the regular day on Hollywood Boulevard.

00:21:43.920 --> 00:21:45.519
On Hollywood Boulevard.

00:21:47.039 --> 00:21:47.440
Yep.

00:21:48.079 --> 00:21:50.400
No more than 2,000 or 2,000 or less.

00:21:50.559 --> 00:21:51.519
Or what would you say?

00:21:52.160 --> 00:21:53.200
Do you have to get a permit for that?

00:21:53.599 --> 00:21:54.079
1,000.

00:21:54.160 --> 00:21:55.519
That's except 2,000 sheep.

00:21:56.319 --> 00:21:59.759
Not more than I've seen like the longhorn cattle in Fort Worth.

00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:00.319
Come down the side.

00:22:00.559 --> 00:22:04.480
So you can have 1,999, but not more than 2,000.

00:22:04.559 --> 00:22:04.880
Yeah.

00:22:06.960 --> 00:22:09.119
Does it say anything about the breed of sheep?

00:22:09.279 --> 00:22:09.440
No.

00:22:09.759 --> 00:22:10.079
Oh, good.

00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:12.400
I mean, it could be the black sheep.

00:22:12.960 --> 00:22:14.079
It could be, you know.

00:22:14.160 --> 00:22:14.319
Yeah.

00:22:14.720 --> 00:22:17.680
Well, it's lucky that we weren't in that they weren't in Alabama doing that.

00:22:18.160 --> 00:22:20.640
At least they're not discriminating the the sheep that are available.

00:22:22.960 --> 00:22:24.000
It's not gonna be good.

00:22:24.160 --> 00:22:26.000
That's where the sheep For real.

00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:26.400
Yeah.

00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:27.200
Sheep go.

00:22:28.720 --> 00:22:29.440
Sheep go to sleep.

00:22:29.680 --> 00:22:30.640
That's kind of a woolly concept.

00:22:30.799 --> 00:22:32.480
Where the men are men and sheep are scared.

00:22:33.920 --> 00:22:34.559
But go ahead.

00:22:34.960 --> 00:22:38.720
In Colorado, car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.

00:22:39.519 --> 00:22:40.559
That's that's fine.

00:22:40.799 --> 00:22:42.720
That seems every car dealer would love that.

00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:44.880
Well, the dealer wouldn't think salesman would.

00:22:45.039 --> 00:22:46.160
Well you just say you're at church.

00:22:46.960 --> 00:22:50.000
They take three days off Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's.

00:22:50.079 --> 00:22:50.799
I work three days.

00:22:50.960 --> 00:22:52.079
I work in the car dealership.

00:22:52.640 --> 00:22:57.279
And Sunday is, you know, the it's not it's not For some reason, 4th of July is a great day to sell cars.

00:22:57.519 --> 00:22:59.599
That's the Lord's Day, unless you actually want to buy a car.

00:22:59.920 --> 00:23:00.799
Well, not it's not even that.

00:23:01.440 --> 00:23:04.559
Oh, I'll get down to the office right away and we'll sign this deal.

00:23:04.960 --> 00:23:07.279
You're not gonna sell a car on Sunday, hardly.

00:23:07.920 --> 00:23:10.880
If you ride a car, I wouldn't think there's six other days you can do it.

00:23:11.279 --> 00:23:13.440
Hey, somebody has to get to work on Monday.

00:23:13.680 --> 00:23:15.839
You won't get down to the dealership and sign that.

00:23:16.240 --> 00:23:19.440
No, go to one of those fucking notebots and get one and say hell with it.

00:23:19.839 --> 00:23:23.920
Like the CarMax that have the you could do the elevators and shit.

00:23:24.319 --> 00:23:25.119
Call an Uber for the colour.

00:23:25.279 --> 00:23:27.920
If you just got a job, for God's sakes, call an Uber.

00:23:28.000 --> 00:23:28.559
Yeah, call them.

00:23:30.240 --> 00:23:31.279
It's expensive.

00:23:31.680 --> 00:23:38.000
In Sterling, Colorado Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a tail light.

00:23:38.559 --> 00:23:39.440
Wait, what?

00:23:41.519 --> 00:23:45.680
Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a tail light.

00:23:46.559 --> 00:23:48.319
They put a tail light on a cat.

00:23:48.880 --> 00:23:50.240
You have to put a tail light on it.

00:23:54.960 --> 00:23:56.480
Is that like a headlamp?

00:23:57.119 --> 00:23:58.160
It's an ass lamp.

00:23:58.400 --> 00:23:59.279
It's an ass lamp.

00:24:00.160 --> 00:24:00.880
Oh, ass lamp.

00:24:00.960 --> 00:24:01.599
Yeah, there you go.

00:24:01.680 --> 00:24:02.079
Yeah.

00:24:02.480 --> 00:24:04.160
I think those are on Amazon.

00:24:04.480 --> 00:24:06.480
Yeah, I'm sure you can get it.

00:24:06.640 --> 00:24:07.359
Are these LEDs?

00:24:07.599 --> 00:24:09.039
Ass lamps for cats.

00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:11.680
Solar panel power or these LEDs?

00:24:11.759 --> 00:24:12.000
I don't know.

00:24:13.119 --> 00:24:14.880
Like the things on the back of the bicycle.

00:24:15.119 --> 00:24:15.359
Yeah, yeah.

00:24:15.599 --> 00:24:16.000
Don't hit me.

00:24:17.200 --> 00:24:22.240
Maybe they're powered, but like, you know, like if you pedal, but they walk, so it powers it.

00:24:23.519 --> 00:24:24.079
And they flash.

00:24:24.799 --> 00:24:26.240
You know, they have those flashy ones.

00:24:28.400 --> 00:24:29.519
Does it have a turn signal?

00:24:29.599 --> 00:24:32.240
Like if you're I don't know.

00:24:32.559 --> 00:24:33.920
Cats have got nine fucking lives.

00:24:34.000 --> 00:24:34.480
Who cares?

00:24:34.640 --> 00:24:35.039
I know.

00:24:35.200 --> 00:24:37.440
I mean, so you run over them eight times, they're still around.

00:24:37.680 --> 00:24:38.079
That's true.

00:24:38.319 --> 00:24:38.960
That's a great law.

00:24:39.119 --> 00:24:39.519
Dumb law.

00:24:39.599 --> 00:24:40.160
That's a great law.

00:24:41.440 --> 00:24:42.240
That's required.

00:24:42.640 --> 00:24:44.799
Thank God they thought of it because I wouldn't have.

00:24:45.359 --> 00:24:46.640
That's why we're not politicians.

00:24:47.119 --> 00:24:53.680
Yeah, that's well, in Connecticut, a pickle is not officially a pickle unless it bounces.

00:24:54.000 --> 00:24:55.200
Wait, really?

00:24:55.759 --> 00:24:56.880
Bounces or bounces?

00:24:57.359 --> 00:24:57.759
Bounces.

00:24:58.319 --> 00:24:58.720
Both.

00:24:58.960 --> 00:24:59.599
Boing.

00:25:00.079 --> 00:25:00.640
Boing.

00:25:01.200 --> 00:25:01.599
Now wait.

00:25:03.039 --> 00:25:03.680
Is this a real pickle?

00:25:04.079 --> 00:25:04.640
Cucumbers bounce.

00:25:04.880 --> 00:25:05.759
I like pickles.

00:25:05.920 --> 00:25:06.160
Okay.

00:25:06.319 --> 00:25:08.240
And do you check and see if they bounce?

00:25:08.799 --> 00:25:11.680
It depends on what kind of cucumber you're using to create the pickle.

00:25:12.079 --> 00:25:13.599
I never eat a pickle with legs.

00:25:14.160 --> 00:25:18.480
If you're eating a pickle with legs, it's a dude, and you probably shouldn't be doing it.

00:25:20.240 --> 00:25:21.440
That could be in your Olympics.

00:25:21.680 --> 00:25:22.240
That's another topic.

00:25:22.880 --> 00:25:23.599
Olympics.

00:25:24.400 --> 00:25:25.119
Olympics.

00:25:25.200 --> 00:25:26.880
It could be in our Olympics.

00:25:28.319 --> 00:25:29.200
Well, not limp.

00:25:29.839 --> 00:25:30.799
What the hell?

00:25:31.119 --> 00:25:32.160
Hey, let me tell you something.

00:25:32.400 --> 00:25:33.599
Let me tell you something, Mike.

00:25:33.839 --> 00:25:36.400
We embrace pickles in our Olympics.

00:25:36.559 --> 00:25:36.799
Okay.

00:25:37.359 --> 00:25:38.079
The ones that bounce?

00:25:38.400 --> 00:25:38.799
Rayette?

00:25:38.960 --> 00:25:39.039
Yep.

00:25:39.200 --> 00:25:40.559
I'm sure they're about bouncing pickles.

00:25:40.880 --> 00:25:41.839
Especially the ones that bounce.

00:25:42.079 --> 00:25:43.599
So you guys will have a high jump in your Olympics.

00:25:43.920 --> 00:25:44.720
The ones that don't bounce, too.

00:25:45.039 --> 00:25:46.079
We'll think of something for those.

00:25:46.400 --> 00:25:47.440
We embrace all the of the phone.

00:25:47.599 --> 00:25:48.960
Well, then you can't call them a pickle.

00:25:49.279 --> 00:25:50.400
Connecticut can't host those.

00:25:50.480 --> 00:25:51.039
So yeah.

00:25:51.440 --> 00:25:53.119
The Olympics will never be in Connecticut.

00:25:53.200 --> 00:25:53.279
Yeah.

00:25:53.920 --> 00:25:54.400
I'm okay with that.

00:25:54.880 --> 00:25:55.279
Sorry, Connecticut.

00:25:57.119 --> 00:25:58.400
We don't want to even want to fly that far.

00:25:58.480 --> 00:25:58.720
That's fine.

00:25:58.880 --> 00:25:59.359
Sorry, Connecticut.

00:25:59.680 --> 00:26:02.000
As far as we're going is Nevada, never have a chance.

00:26:02.160 --> 00:26:04.240
We can probably find a lot of Olympics in Nevada.

00:26:06.960 --> 00:26:09.599
You got awesome freaking college basketball teams, men and women.

00:26:13.359 --> 00:26:15.039
So sorry, pickles.

00:26:15.200 --> 00:26:15.920
Sorry, Connecticut.

00:26:16.160 --> 00:26:16.400
Yeah.

00:26:16.640 --> 00:26:17.039
All right.

00:26:17.279 --> 00:26:18.319
Bouncing pickles.

00:26:18.400 --> 00:26:19.279
What the f anyway.

00:26:19.599 --> 00:26:22.559
In Delaware, it's illegal to get married on a dare.

00:26:26.000 --> 00:26:27.119
What about a bet?

00:26:28.559 --> 00:26:30.640
If you lost a bet, it'll work.

00:26:31.519 --> 00:26:32.240
Is it a dare?

00:26:33.359 --> 00:26:34.559
What about a double dog dare?

00:26:34.720 --> 00:26:34.880
Oh.

00:26:35.119 --> 00:26:35.599
Triple dog dog.

00:26:35.759 --> 00:26:38.319
It says dare, so I think that covers all dares.

00:26:39.599 --> 00:26:42.559
No, no, not all dares are created equal.

00:26:43.680 --> 00:26:44.400
They can be.

00:26:45.759 --> 00:26:48.559
Damn, it's ever seen the Christmas story?

00:26:48.799 --> 00:26:50.559
Can you can you get divorced on a dare?

00:26:52.160 --> 00:26:52.880
That's a good question.

00:26:53.039 --> 00:26:53.519
I think you can.

00:26:56.720 --> 00:26:56.880
Yeah.

00:26:57.119 --> 00:26:57.680
So that's fine.

00:26:57.839 --> 00:26:58.799
You just can't start it.

00:26:59.119 --> 00:26:59.279
Yeah.

00:27:00.160 --> 00:27:00.960
So that's brilliant.

00:27:01.119 --> 00:27:04.880
You don't make a stupid decision to start it, but you can make a stupid decision to get out of it.

00:27:05.599 --> 00:27:05.920
That's perfect.

00:27:06.079 --> 00:27:07.359
Fucking Delaware's got their shit together.

00:27:07.440 --> 00:27:07.759
Oh my gosh.

00:27:07.920 --> 00:27:08.480
Delaware's gone.

00:27:08.880 --> 00:27:11.279
They don't they literally only have two dumb laws.

00:27:11.599 --> 00:27:12.160
Delaware's funny.

00:27:12.480 --> 00:27:12.880
By the chance.

00:27:12.960 --> 00:27:13.920
I'm in Delaware.

00:27:14.079 --> 00:27:14.240
Fuck.

00:27:14.559 --> 00:27:15.359
Delaware prohibits.

00:27:15.759 --> 00:27:17.279
Hey, maybe racing we can get like a Bogo.

00:27:17.759 --> 00:27:19.440
On Good Friday or Easter Sunday.

00:27:20.240 --> 00:27:24.160
You can't horse race on Good Friday or Easter Sunday in Delaware.

00:27:25.440 --> 00:27:26.880
Yeah, what do you got to say about that one?

00:27:27.119 --> 00:27:27.440
I don't know.

00:27:28.720 --> 00:27:31.839
I want to ride my horse any day I feel fucking feel like riding my horse.

00:27:32.079 --> 00:27:32.720
You don't have a horse.

00:27:32.880 --> 00:27:33.759
But you can't race it.

00:27:33.920 --> 00:27:35.359
No, assuming I did.

00:27:35.839 --> 00:27:37.519
That's my horse to ride whenever I feel like it's a big deal.

00:27:37.680 --> 00:27:38.640
Well, you can't race it there.

00:27:39.119 --> 00:27:39.680
You can walk it.

00:27:39.839 --> 00:27:40.960
Well, I can race a dog.

00:27:41.119 --> 00:27:42.160
I can race a duck.

00:27:42.319 --> 00:27:44.000
I mean, I can race myself.

00:27:44.240 --> 00:27:44.720
Sure.

00:27:45.200 --> 00:27:46.160
To beat the clock.

00:27:47.039 --> 00:27:47.839
You sound like a racist.

00:27:48.079 --> 00:27:49.440
Yeah, you're a racist.

00:27:49.920 --> 00:27:51.920
Yeah, no, I'm a racer.

00:27:52.880 --> 00:27:53.279
Sorry.

00:27:53.759 --> 00:27:54.079
Different.

00:27:54.720 --> 00:27:55.920
I'm a racer.

00:27:56.720 --> 00:27:57.039
Okay.

00:27:57.200 --> 00:28:03.039
Now that we have Delaware, only 46 more states to go.

00:28:03.279 --> 00:28:04.720
District of Columbia.

00:28:05.680 --> 00:28:06.319
Great.

00:28:06.880 --> 00:28:08.400
This is not a state.

00:28:08.559 --> 00:28:13.519
The UFO says it's a crime to give false weather reports.

00:28:14.160 --> 00:28:15.440
They do it every fucking day.

00:28:15.680 --> 00:28:16.480
Jeez, so yeah.

00:28:16.720 --> 00:28:17.519
Did you see Thursday?

00:28:17.680 --> 00:28:19.519
We were supposed to get a shitload of snow and we got nothing.

00:28:19.680 --> 00:28:20.079
Yeah, I know.

00:28:20.319 --> 00:28:20.799
But that's Oregon.

00:28:21.039 --> 00:28:21.599
It was very disappointed.

00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:23.200
District of Columbia.

00:28:23.519 --> 00:28:24.160
That was sad.

00:28:24.319 --> 00:28:25.200
They're all the same.

00:28:26.960 --> 00:28:29.599
I don't think they intentionally break the law, but they're just always wrong.

00:28:29.920 --> 00:28:31.759
Who who are we holding accountable?

00:28:32.000 --> 00:28:32.240
Yes.

00:28:32.319 --> 00:28:33.279
Who are you holding accountable?

00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:34.079
Yeah.

00:28:34.400 --> 00:28:34.799
Weather people.

00:28:35.519 --> 00:28:36.480
Are they going to jail?

00:28:38.160 --> 00:28:40.960
You're all off with their heads.

00:28:42.480 --> 00:28:43.200
I agree.

00:28:43.680 --> 00:28:44.160
What?

00:28:44.400 --> 00:28:48.240
Because I can walk outside, look up at the sky, and probably do it better than they do most of the time.

00:28:48.960 --> 00:28:50.079
Get these fucking people a window.

00:28:57.920 --> 00:28:58.240
Okay.

00:28:58.880 --> 00:29:00.079
Go ahead, yeah.

00:29:02.240 --> 00:29:02.559
Yeah.

00:29:02.720 --> 00:29:07.920
I looked out the window this morning and I was like, hey, at this point, wind is fucking crazy.

00:29:08.160 --> 00:29:08.480
We see it.

00:29:09.039 --> 00:29:09.119
Yeah.

00:29:09.279 --> 00:29:10.000
Did you see my gazebo?

00:29:10.160 --> 00:29:11.519
I didn't need somebody to tell me that.

00:29:11.839 --> 00:29:13.200
Did you see our gazebo?

00:29:13.440 --> 00:29:13.680
Yeah.

00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:15.039
Our shit torn apart.

00:29:16.480 --> 00:29:17.839
They didn't predict tornadoes today here.

00:29:18.079 --> 00:29:18.319
Right?

00:29:18.640 --> 00:29:19.680
Throne against the wall.

00:29:19.920 --> 00:29:24.160
Well, in Florida, it's illegal to sing in public while attired in a swimsuit.

00:29:24.240 --> 00:29:25.119
That is so rude.

00:29:25.359 --> 00:29:26.319
That's bullshit.

00:29:27.680 --> 00:29:28.559
Some chicks have naked.

00:29:28.720 --> 00:29:29.519
I don't care what she's doing.

00:29:30.559 --> 00:29:34.559
It's illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.

00:29:35.440 --> 00:29:37.519
If she's in bikini, she can do anything she wants.

00:29:37.680 --> 00:29:38.240
I don't care.

00:29:38.559 --> 00:29:42.720
We're going to be out there in our swimsuit singing a song from the rumors of the room.

00:29:42.880 --> 00:29:44.640
I'm going to go, I'm going to go to see that.

00:29:47.039 --> 00:29:47.599
I don't care if they do it.

00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:50.400
I really think so.

00:29:50.720 --> 00:29:51.920
No, I don't want to hear that song.

00:29:52.000 --> 00:29:52.240
No.

00:29:53.119 --> 00:29:55.759
If you're in a swimsuit, that might be illegal.

00:29:56.079 --> 00:29:56.799
That's okay.

00:29:56.960 --> 00:29:58.559
But that's just public lewdness.

00:29:58.640 --> 00:29:59.039
That's different.

00:29:59.279 --> 00:30:00.880
No, it's not going to be a speedo.

00:30:01.359 --> 00:30:04.079
If you start singing, then then it's yeah.

00:30:04.400 --> 00:30:05.759
What do you mean it's not a speedo?

00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:07.519
I might turn Japanese.

00:30:08.240 --> 00:30:09.440
What are you going to be wearing?

00:30:09.599 --> 00:30:10.720
You wax, right?

00:30:11.680 --> 00:30:12.799
Wax on, wax on.

00:30:12.960 --> 00:30:13.599
Okay, there you go.

00:30:14.079 --> 00:30:15.039
Wax on, whack on.

00:30:15.279 --> 00:30:15.519
I don't know.

00:30:15.680 --> 00:30:17.680
A bunch of furries hanging out of this speedo.

00:30:17.759 --> 00:30:18.400
Yeah.

00:30:19.440 --> 00:30:22.960
Well, in Georgia, all citizens must be own a rake, gentlemen.

00:30:23.279 --> 00:30:23.920
It's what?

00:30:24.160 --> 00:30:26.640
All citizens in Georgia must own a rake.

00:30:26.880 --> 00:30:27.599
A rake?

00:30:27.759 --> 00:30:28.079
Yep.

00:30:28.960 --> 00:30:29.599
I believe in that.

00:30:29.680 --> 00:30:30.799
Every human should own a rake.

00:30:30.960 --> 00:30:32.079
They have nothing but fucking pine trees.

00:30:32.160 --> 00:30:34.240
Does anything leaves fall off there?

00:30:34.559 --> 00:30:38.640
Also, it's illegal in Georgia to use profanity in the presence of a corpse.

00:30:39.759 --> 00:30:41.519
Fuck that dead guy.

00:30:41.839 --> 00:30:43.839
Yeah, that piece of shit, that asshole.

00:30:44.079 --> 00:30:44.799
Oh, thank god.

00:30:44.960 --> 00:30:46.720
Thank God we're not in Georgia.

00:30:46.960 --> 00:30:47.839
God damn.

00:30:48.400 --> 00:30:48.960
All right.

00:30:49.440 --> 00:30:50.400
What are they gonna say?

00:30:50.480 --> 00:30:50.640
Okay.

00:30:50.880 --> 00:31:03.519
So if you're if you're like It's not like anybody came to my own, say a chick's ex-husband is about to get buried, you know, say, hey, eat dirt, asshole.

00:31:03.680 --> 00:31:04.880
Eat dirt, motherfucker.

00:31:05.119 --> 00:31:06.960
Okay, oh, you're a nervous, sorry.

00:31:07.279 --> 00:31:07.680
Yeah.

00:31:08.160 --> 00:31:08.480
Okay.

00:31:09.440 --> 00:31:10.079
Yeah.

00:31:10.640 --> 00:31:10.880
Yeah.

00:31:11.039 --> 00:31:11.839
Good job, Georgia.

00:31:12.079 --> 00:31:12.640
What's my bail?

00:31:12.880 --> 00:31:14.079
I got nothing with that one.

00:31:14.640 --> 00:31:15.759
I know, weird, right?

00:31:18.160 --> 00:31:20.000
Oh no, that somebody brought that up.

00:31:21.359 --> 00:31:24.880
There's not somebody that you would want to say fuck you to if they died.

00:31:25.200 --> 00:31:26.000
I'd rather do it.

00:31:27.359 --> 00:31:28.240
When they're alive?

00:31:28.559 --> 00:31:29.119
Oh, okay.

00:31:29.519 --> 00:31:30.480
So they can hear it.

00:31:30.880 --> 00:31:31.599
Uh uh.

00:31:33.200 --> 00:31:34.400
I'm not really into afterwards.

00:31:34.799 --> 00:31:37.279
Afterwards, I'm like, mission accomplished.

00:31:38.960 --> 00:31:43.759
Just so you know, in Hawaii, coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ears.

00:31:47.359 --> 00:31:48.720
Magicians are fucked there.

00:31:48.880 --> 00:31:49.599
They are fucked.

00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:50.319
Jesus.

00:31:50.880 --> 00:31:51.039
Yeah.

00:31:51.119 --> 00:31:51.599
No, that's it.

00:31:51.759 --> 00:31:52.640
No magicians can go there.

00:31:53.039 --> 00:31:56.480
This is related, I I guarantee you, this is related to healthcare costs.

00:31:56.720 --> 00:31:57.519
Is that a quarter?

00:31:58.240 --> 00:32:02.240
Because so many kids come into their emergency room with coins and shit in their ear.

00:32:02.480 --> 00:32:04.480
Can they still go on your anus in Hawaii?

00:32:04.640 --> 00:32:05.039
Probably.

00:32:05.279 --> 00:32:05.519
Okay.

00:32:05.759 --> 00:32:07.839
Seems like that'd be a medical issue, but okay.

00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:08.160
Yeah.

00:32:09.519 --> 00:32:10.640
Is that a quarter in your ear?

00:32:10.799 --> 00:32:10.960
Fuck.

00:32:11.039 --> 00:32:11.920
What if it's a super dollar?

00:32:12.160 --> 00:32:13.519
They don't do they make those anymore?

00:32:13.759 --> 00:32:14.000
Yeah.

00:32:14.160 --> 00:32:17.200
I I actually today I saw a one-dollar.

00:32:17.519 --> 00:32:20.000
It was put this up there, I'll give you four quarters.

00:32:21.599 --> 00:32:22.720
Like an ATM.

00:32:24.240 --> 00:32:26.079
I wonder how old this one is.

00:32:26.240 --> 00:32:30.960
All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat in Hawaii.

00:32:31.279 --> 00:32:31.920
In Hawaii.

00:32:32.079 --> 00:32:33.519
You must have an exit strategy.

00:32:33.839 --> 00:32:35.119
They have to have a boat.

00:32:35.759 --> 00:32:37.839
No, you live in a particular community.

00:32:37.920 --> 00:32:39.359
It's like living in Palm Beach.

00:32:39.599 --> 00:32:40.720
No, you're on a fucking island.

00:32:40.880 --> 00:32:42.240
How else do you get off?

00:32:42.480 --> 00:32:43.519
You need a fucking canoe.

00:32:44.240 --> 00:32:46.640
If you have a canoe, what if a volcano goes off?

00:32:48.240 --> 00:32:48.319
Yeah.

00:32:48.480 --> 00:32:51.039
It's like 12 months that canoe will get you back to the States.

00:32:51.440 --> 00:32:52.720
You can back join with us.

00:32:53.279 --> 00:32:53.839
It's not about safety.

00:32:53.920 --> 00:32:55.440
It's not Gilligan's Island.

00:32:56.240 --> 00:32:57.839
Did they dock from Hawaii first?

00:32:58.079 --> 00:33:03.200
Did you ever see that episode where they found a way to take seashells and find a way to get off the island and Gilligan fucked it up?

00:33:03.359 --> 00:33:04.799
Oh, Gilligan fucked up everything.

00:33:04.880 --> 00:33:05.119
Yeah.

00:33:05.519 --> 00:33:07.680
Many times they could have gotten off that island.

00:33:07.759 --> 00:33:08.720
He's a piece of shit.

00:33:08.960 --> 00:33:10.960
Many times they could have gotten off that epic.

00:33:11.039 --> 00:33:12.960
And then the kill Gilligan didn't have the next day.

00:33:13.279 --> 00:33:16.400
I'm trying to figure out for a three-hour cruise.

00:33:16.559 --> 00:33:18.880
How did the howls pack that much shit for three hours?

00:33:19.119 --> 00:33:20.400
Man, they're rich.

00:33:21.200 --> 00:33:23.119
Ginger had all the Hollywood dresses.

00:33:23.440 --> 00:33:25.200
Yeah, but Mary Ann was hot, though.

00:33:25.440 --> 00:33:25.839
Mary Ann.

00:33:26.400 --> 00:33:28.640
She had her, she had she was the first Daisy Duke shorts.

00:33:28.880 --> 00:33:30.559
You were not complaining about their clothes.

00:33:30.720 --> 00:33:30.880
Okay.

00:33:31.119 --> 00:33:31.680
She's from Kansas.

00:33:31.839 --> 00:33:32.400
Or lack of them.

00:33:32.559 --> 00:33:36.799
Skipper and Gilligan were the same and the professor were the same goddamn clothes every episode.

00:33:37.039 --> 00:33:39.759
Ginger and the house, it's like they came out of their mansions.

00:33:39.839 --> 00:33:42.960
It's like, oh my designer, Gucci, came and got me today.

00:33:43.200 --> 00:33:45.359
Gucci should have said, hey, you want to need a ride?

00:33:45.599 --> 00:33:46.000
They did it.

00:33:47.039 --> 00:33:49.759
None of them should have had extra clothes for a three-hour tour.

00:33:49.920 --> 00:33:50.559
It's a three hour.

00:33:52.799 --> 00:33:53.200
But they did.

00:33:53.359 --> 00:33:54.079
I know the song.

00:33:54.160 --> 00:33:55.440
We could all sing that right now.

00:33:55.519 --> 00:33:56.720
Well, they got they got sponsored.

00:33:56.799 --> 00:33:57.440
They got sponsored.

00:33:57.759 --> 00:33:57.839
Yeah.

00:33:58.559 --> 00:34:00.000
I triple dog dare you.

00:34:00.240 --> 00:34:01.599
The weather started getting rough.

00:34:01.839 --> 00:34:03.119
Mighty ship was tossed.

00:34:03.279 --> 00:34:05.200
If not for the luck of the curve, fear the screw.

00:34:05.359 --> 00:34:06.319
The widow would be lost.

00:34:06.480 --> 00:34:06.880
The middle.

00:34:06.960 --> 00:34:07.200
Excuse me.

00:34:08.800 --> 00:34:10.000
The widow might be too.

00:34:10.719 --> 00:34:11.519
The widow might be.

00:34:12.719 --> 00:34:14.880
Yeah, it was a good show, though.

00:34:15.039 --> 00:34:16.639
And it came right for Bewitched.

00:34:17.280 --> 00:34:17.360
Yeah.

00:34:20.159 --> 00:34:21.760
You have to bring us home with the three-hour tour.

00:34:24.559 --> 00:34:25.679
Three hour tour.

00:34:26.480 --> 00:34:28.800
The three hours tour.

00:34:30.159 --> 00:34:31.119
You're welcome.

00:34:31.679 --> 00:34:33.440
That sounded way better than I did.

00:34:34.239 --> 00:34:35.679
So in Idaho.

00:34:36.880 --> 00:34:40.239
Writing a merry-go-round on Sundays is a crime.

00:34:40.880 --> 00:34:42.480
What if you're at the state fair?

00:34:42.800 --> 00:34:45.119
No, no merry-go-rounds on Sundays.

00:34:46.159 --> 00:34:49.039
State fair obviously is prohibited on Sundays.

00:34:49.280 --> 00:34:49.920
Sundays, and that's the case.

00:34:50.079 --> 00:34:50.559
Also in CC.

00:34:54.239 --> 00:34:56.960
No, they keep the what's the big terrorist wheel?

00:34:57.119 --> 00:34:57.840
Ferris wheels okay.

00:34:58.000 --> 00:34:58.800
Yeah, that that's okay.

00:34:59.199 --> 00:35:01.119
You can go vertical, you can't go lateral.

00:35:01.280 --> 00:35:01.519
Right.

00:35:02.000 --> 00:35:02.639
It makes sense.

00:35:02.719 --> 00:35:03.119
I got that.

00:35:03.440 --> 00:35:05.440
So you can't ride fake horses and shit on that.

00:35:05.679 --> 00:35:05.760
No.

00:35:06.960 --> 00:35:11.360
Also, if you're 88 years or of age or older, it's illegal for you to ride your motorcycle.

00:35:11.599 --> 00:35:12.000
Yes.

00:35:12.239 --> 00:35:13.920
That's 100% I agree.

00:35:15.440 --> 00:35:16.079
This one makes sense.

00:35:16.960 --> 00:35:18.000
That is legitimate.

00:35:18.320 --> 00:35:20.239
And I would reduce that down to 80.

00:35:20.559 --> 00:35:24.719
My dad's 98 and he drives Seven Feathers every Tuesday to get his free ice cream at the casino.

00:35:25.199 --> 00:35:29.760
Takes him six hours to get that free ice cream because he's gambling my inheritance away.

00:35:30.400 --> 00:35:34.800
So if you see a gray Nissan truck coming down the freeway at I-5, just pull over.

00:35:34.880 --> 00:35:36.000
He's just, you know where he's going.

00:35:36.159 --> 00:35:36.400
Yeah.

00:35:36.559 --> 00:35:38.159
Well, he's not in Idaho, so that's good.

00:35:38.400 --> 00:35:38.719
He's not riding.

00:35:39.599 --> 00:35:40.880
He's not riding a motorcycle.

00:35:41.280 --> 00:35:42.000
That's huge.

00:35:42.320 --> 00:35:44.239
Like, Dad, everybody's forgot about World War II.

00:35:44.320 --> 00:35:46.320
How do you still get away with being a veteran?

00:35:48.480 --> 00:35:51.039
Wait, he's the veteranist of veterans.

00:35:51.280 --> 00:35:51.519
He is.

00:35:52.480 --> 00:35:52.960
Don't mess with that.

00:35:53.119 --> 00:35:55.280
He's the last World War II veteran left.

00:35:55.920 --> 00:35:56.960
Good stories, though.

00:35:57.199 --> 00:35:57.840
I bet.

00:35:59.119 --> 00:36:00.800
Don't go to Idaho, Dad.

00:36:01.440 --> 00:36:08.239
A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterpart.

00:36:11.599 --> 00:36:12.559
Never ever.

00:36:14.719 --> 00:36:16.159
We are never, ever, ever.

00:36:16.800 --> 00:36:18.559
Fuck down where I'm going here.

00:36:19.599 --> 00:36:19.840
Yeah.

00:36:20.159 --> 00:36:20.880
Illinois.

00:36:21.119 --> 00:36:21.599
Illinois?

00:36:22.400 --> 00:36:23.599
I'm gonna push F for a national.

00:36:24.079 --> 00:36:25.679
Staying out of Chicago, but I'm going to Illinois.

00:36:25.840 --> 00:36:27.280
I'm gonna push F or a Nashville.

00:36:27.679 --> 00:36:28.880
But excuse me, Mr.

00:36:29.039 --> 00:36:29.920
is a courtesy.

00:36:30.239 --> 00:36:32.400
A man with a mustache dude.

00:36:33.760 --> 00:36:38.400
A man with a mustache may not kiss a woman.

00:36:39.280 --> 00:36:41.760
Oh I'm clean she Excuse me.

00:36:41.920 --> 00:36:42.639
Fuck off.

00:36:42.960 --> 00:36:44.480
One guy in here is getting laid.

00:36:44.639 --> 00:36:45.280
Nobody else is.

00:36:45.840 --> 00:36:46.639
Oh, Jason.

00:36:46.719 --> 00:36:50.719
Ooh, he's also that just means raising his flag to brag about it.

00:36:51.199 --> 00:36:51.599
Here's the thing.

00:36:51.679 --> 00:36:52.880
He's got to fuck with foreplay.

00:36:53.039 --> 00:36:53.280
We don't.

00:36:53.440 --> 00:36:56.960
Yeah, Jason's got Jason's the only one that can we just go right to the main scene.

00:36:58.960 --> 00:36:59.679
I don't know what that means.

00:36:59.920 --> 00:37:01.039
I don't really want to.

00:37:01.440 --> 00:37:01.920
What?

00:37:02.559 --> 00:37:03.360
Whatever whatever you're saying.

00:37:03.599 --> 00:37:04.480
You never heard of foreplay?

00:37:04.639 --> 00:37:08.559
Yeah, but whatever you're describing, I don't I don't even know about that.

00:37:08.800 --> 00:37:10.159
Krista, okay, we'll talk about it.

00:37:10.400 --> 00:37:11.679
I know I I understand.

00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:17.039
I understand the principle, but not when it has to do with the mustache and the goatees and all this shit.

00:37:17.840 --> 00:37:18.719
It's called rash.

00:37:18.960 --> 00:37:20.079
Okay, no, what did I just say?

00:37:20.639 --> 00:37:22.239
No, no, I don't want to rash.

00:37:22.320 --> 00:37:22.639
No, thank you.

00:37:22.800 --> 00:37:23.360
No, it's not right.

00:37:23.519 --> 00:37:24.480
I'm not saying anything.

00:37:25.360 --> 00:37:26.480
Skin irritation.

00:37:27.440 --> 00:37:27.760
Not that.

00:37:28.159 --> 00:37:28.559
Probably.

00:37:28.719 --> 00:37:37.920
I guarantee you, some woman in the politicians has sensitive skin and she got tired of being kissed by somebody with a mustache, and it irritated her face, and she's like, dude, we gotta stop this shit.

00:37:38.079 --> 00:37:40.320
This is a national flag, huh?

00:37:40.639 --> 00:37:41.599
You quit.

00:37:42.480 --> 00:37:42.800
Okay.

00:37:43.440 --> 00:37:46.000
It's also illegal to take your French poodle to the opera.

00:37:47.280 --> 00:37:47.760
The poodle?

00:37:48.719 --> 00:37:49.760
The French poodle.

00:37:50.559 --> 00:37:52.400
You cannot take your French poodle to the opera.

00:37:52.719 --> 00:37:53.760
Those aren't those big ones, aren't they?

00:37:54.000 --> 00:37:55.039
German Shepard's okay, all right.

00:37:55.199 --> 00:37:55.519
I'll tell you.

00:37:58.880 --> 00:38:00.159
He still wants to kiss her on her face.

00:38:00.480 --> 00:38:04.480
Yeah, but you can you can take your I don't think poodles are now, I guess.

00:38:04.639 --> 00:38:08.320
So I wouldn't go to an opera anyway, because fuck that.

00:38:08.639 --> 00:38:10.000
I wouldn't have a French poodle.

00:38:10.239 --> 00:38:12.000
So I wouldn't have a French poodle either.

00:38:12.400 --> 00:38:14.000
I think I feel like we've gone off the rails.

00:38:14.320 --> 00:38:18.559
In Indiana, it's illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.

00:38:19.519 --> 00:38:20.880
Now that's bullshit.

00:38:21.440 --> 00:38:21.679
I know.

00:38:21.920 --> 00:38:23.760
The monkey could only be so lucky.

00:38:24.079 --> 00:38:24.880
This is Indiana.

00:38:25.039 --> 00:38:27.039
Has anybody watched fucking Hangover?

00:38:27.119 --> 00:38:28.880
That monkey smoked like a motherfucker.

00:38:29.280 --> 00:38:30.320
It wasn't in Indiana.

00:38:30.480 --> 00:38:31.679
Well, I know, that's what I'm saying.

00:38:31.760 --> 00:38:34.320
That's what that that you know he should This is only in Indiana.

00:38:34.400 --> 00:38:35.599
That's why they didn't film it there.

00:38:35.840 --> 00:38:36.320
Well they should have.

00:38:36.480 --> 00:38:37.280
That would have been illegal.

00:38:37.679 --> 00:38:38.079
They should've.

00:38:39.199 --> 00:38:39.280
Yeah.

00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:40.639
Breaking laws.

00:38:40.800 --> 00:38:43.280
You know, sometimes you gotta you gotta be a rebel.

00:38:43.920 --> 00:38:48.239
And no one can catch a fish with its bare hands in Indiana.

00:38:51.679 --> 00:38:52.000
Okay.

00:38:52.239 --> 00:38:52.559
Okay.

00:38:55.199 --> 00:38:55.920
That's wrong.

00:38:57.679 --> 00:38:58.320
Iowa.

00:38:59.599 --> 00:39:00.480
Oh, there's more?

00:39:01.119 --> 00:39:01.599
There's more states.

00:39:02.800 --> 00:39:03.599
You know, we have fifty of us.

00:39:03.840 --> 00:39:04.719
We have fifty states.

00:39:05.199 --> 00:39:06.639
Yeah, obviously.

00:39:08.800 --> 00:39:09.840
Plus DC.

00:39:12.000 --> 00:39:15.039
Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants.

00:39:16.000 --> 00:39:17.039
Are you fucking kidding me?

00:39:17.199 --> 00:39:17.679
No, wait.

00:39:18.320 --> 00:39:21.679
Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants in Iowa.

00:39:22.000 --> 00:39:24.960
This is this is I take personal offense to the other.

00:39:25.119 --> 00:39:26.320
Would they used to be made out of hay?

00:39:26.800 --> 00:39:29.199
I I am personally offended by this.

00:39:29.519 --> 00:39:34.400
As though horses are so stupid that they would eat a fire hydrant.

00:39:36.000 --> 00:39:38.559
I'm guessing it used to be made out of hay, and that's why this this is.

00:39:38.800 --> 00:39:44.239
No, this is no, no, this is some kind of drunk human that made a mistake and filed it with the quartz.

00:39:44.800 --> 00:39:49.440
It's also gonna First of all, they cannot eat a fire hydrant.

00:39:49.599 --> 00:39:50.320
It doesn't even make sense.

00:39:50.559 --> 00:39:51.119
How do you know?

00:39:51.280 --> 00:39:52.000
Well, we didn't make these.

00:39:52.800 --> 00:39:55.199
We're just going, how are you gonna eat a fire hydrant?

00:39:55.519 --> 00:39:58.239
Well, horses might be a bite at a time.

00:39:59.039 --> 00:39:59.920
That doesn't make any sense.

00:40:00.079 --> 00:40:01.360
They've got huge teeth.

00:40:02.159 --> 00:40:08.239
One there's one thing that I will never stand for, and that is just horses eating fire hydrants for God's sake.

00:40:08.639 --> 00:40:09.599
No, yes.

00:40:09.920 --> 00:40:11.760
It's disparaging horses.

00:40:11.920 --> 00:40:13.280
I will never stand for that.

00:40:13.519 --> 00:40:15.840
Yeah, and they eat fire hydrants.

00:40:16.079 --> 00:40:17.119
Well, no, they don't.

00:40:18.400 --> 00:40:20.960
Just so you know, in Kansas you can't hunt whales.

00:40:22.320 --> 00:40:23.360
Oh shit.

00:40:24.159 --> 00:40:27.840
I lived in Kansas and Home.

00:40:28.239 --> 00:40:30.079
Are they talking about whales?

00:40:31.360 --> 00:40:32.400
Are they talking about biggins?

00:40:32.639 --> 00:40:34.000
Are they talking about whales?

00:40:36.159 --> 00:40:42.639
Or are they talking about like the you also can't catch bullfrogs in a tomato patch?

00:40:42.880 --> 00:40:44.480
I just want to know about the whales.

00:40:44.960 --> 00:40:48.960
Are they talking about the whales that are in the water or are they talking about whales?

00:40:49.440 --> 00:40:50.079
Two-legged whales.

00:40:50.400 --> 00:40:51.199
Two legs two-legged whales.

00:40:51.360 --> 00:40:51.679
We don't know.

00:40:53.280 --> 00:40:54.400
And what about the bullfrogs?

00:40:54.719 --> 00:40:55.280
How dare you?

00:40:55.519 --> 00:40:57.440
You can't catch them in a tomato patch.

00:40:57.840 --> 00:40:58.400
They do.

00:40:58.639 --> 00:40:59.119
And I don't know.

00:40:59.519 --> 00:41:01.280
Do bullfrogs like help.

00:41:01.599 --> 00:41:04.639
Maybe their poop is good for the tomatoes, and it's good for pigs.

00:41:04.800 --> 00:41:05.360
Maybe.

00:41:05.599 --> 00:41:06.800
So maybe that's brilliant.

00:41:06.960 --> 00:41:07.760
They want you to leave them alone.

00:41:07.840 --> 00:41:08.480
I'm gonna go with that.

00:41:08.559 --> 00:41:09.360
I live in Kansas.

00:41:09.519 --> 00:41:11.679
Because in Kansas and I've never seen the bullfalls.

00:41:11.920 --> 00:41:14.320
This is the first time that you've sounded aggravately reasonable.

00:41:14.719 --> 00:41:17.039
The Wizard of All is a film in Kansas, and that's a great movie.

00:41:17.119 --> 00:41:19.679
So I'm not going to disparage the Kansas people.

00:41:20.079 --> 00:41:20.400
Okay.

00:41:20.719 --> 00:41:20.960
Thank you.

00:41:21.280 --> 00:41:22.880
Dorothy is amazing.

00:41:23.840 --> 00:41:27.360
Now, the Good Witch of the North is kind of sexy, but we'll leave that alone.

00:41:28.639 --> 00:41:33.119
Did you know in Kentucky every citizen is required to take a shower once a year?

00:41:36.320 --> 00:41:38.320
That's par for the course there anyway.

00:41:38.559 --> 00:41:40.960
Is it does it have to be in Kentucky?

00:41:41.199 --> 00:41:43.360
In the bathroom, or can it be like in a creek?

00:41:43.599 --> 00:41:44.320
It doesn't specify.

00:41:47.599 --> 00:41:48.480
It could be in a crick.

00:41:48.639 --> 00:41:50.000
Yeah, they can shower in a crick.

00:41:50.159 --> 00:41:51.840
Is that in a creek?

00:41:51.920 --> 00:41:53.599
Is that Kentucky or Montucky?

00:41:54.159 --> 00:41:55.280
Oh, it's called a crick.

00:41:55.440 --> 00:41:55.760
It's crick.

00:41:57.280 --> 00:41:57.440
Yeah.

00:41:57.599 --> 00:42:01.920
Does anybody it's also illegal to marry the same man more than three times?

00:42:02.159 --> 00:42:02.960
That should be.

00:42:03.679 --> 00:42:04.400
Third time's a charm.

00:42:04.559 --> 00:42:05.760
100% stand behind it.

00:42:06.000 --> 00:42:08.159
After the third time, you gotta get it right, man.

00:42:08.400 --> 00:42:08.719
Yeah.

00:42:10.320 --> 00:42:11.679
That's just practice.

00:42:12.000 --> 00:42:14.000
Oh, this one, Louisiana.

00:42:14.639 --> 00:42:15.679
This is the best law.

00:42:16.079 --> 00:42:16.960
We got Louisiana.

00:42:17.119 --> 00:42:18.000
She likes this one apparently.

00:42:18.079 --> 00:42:19.599
Is it Louisiana or Louisiana?

00:42:19.840 --> 00:42:20.320
Louisiana.

00:42:20.480 --> 00:42:20.960
Louisiana.

00:42:21.360 --> 00:42:21.760
Oh my god.

00:42:22.079 --> 00:42:22.719
Good catch.

00:42:23.440 --> 00:42:24.239
Good catch.

00:42:24.480 --> 00:42:24.800
Okay.

00:42:26.800 --> 00:42:31.360
In Louisiana, biting someone with your natural teeth is simple assault.

00:42:31.920 --> 00:42:36.159
While biting someone with your false teeth is aggravated assault.

00:42:37.519 --> 00:42:38.239
Same assault.

00:42:39.280 --> 00:42:40.480
Assault is assault.

00:42:41.599 --> 00:42:42.320
I got nothing.

00:42:42.559 --> 00:42:43.360
I got nothing.

00:42:43.599 --> 00:42:44.559
That's funny.

00:42:44.960 --> 00:42:45.920
You shouldn't bite someone.

00:42:48.960 --> 00:42:53.840
Also, mourners at a weight may not eat more than three sandwiches.

00:42:55.119 --> 00:42:55.840
That's wrong.

00:42:56.000 --> 00:42:58.559
No, eat all air as many sandwiches as you need.

00:42:59.039 --> 00:43:00.000
It's a celebration of life.

00:43:00.079 --> 00:43:01.199
I mean, what if they're hungry?

00:43:01.679 --> 00:43:03.519
In Louisiana, you can't eat more than three.

00:43:03.760 --> 00:43:04.559
I'm going back to the teeth.

00:43:05.280 --> 00:43:06.000
I'm going back to the teeth.

00:43:06.800 --> 00:43:11.840
So what if you, you know, what if uh you have a girl and she uses her teeth when she's going down on you?

00:43:12.000 --> 00:43:14.159
So you're gonna call the cops on that shit?

00:43:14.719 --> 00:43:17.840
Is it assault or aggravated assault, though?

00:43:18.079 --> 00:43:19.199
It doesn't matter either way.

00:43:19.360 --> 00:43:20.480
There's gotta be intent.

00:43:21.199 --> 00:43:21.840
What's the difference?

00:43:22.079 --> 00:43:22.719
What's the difference?

00:43:23.360 --> 00:43:24.239
What if you're into that shit?

00:43:24.400 --> 00:43:25.440
Well you know what the difference is?

00:43:25.599 --> 00:43:26.159
Practice.

00:43:32.000 --> 00:43:33.760
You're gonna hit I'm gonna have nightmares tonight.

00:43:35.280 --> 00:43:36.079
I'm okay with that.

00:43:36.480 --> 00:43:36.719
Okay.

00:43:38.320 --> 00:43:38.800
Snort.

00:43:39.119 --> 00:43:42.639
Oh, never call the cops on anybody in Louisiana.

00:43:43.119 --> 00:43:44.239
At least replace my baby.

00:43:44.559 --> 00:43:48.880
As long as you've been trying to keep your mouth open, I I'll give you that.

00:43:50.000 --> 00:43:52.800
So So in Maine.

00:43:56.079 --> 00:43:59.840
After January 14th, you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorated.

00:44:01.039 --> 00:44:01.760
Thank God.

00:44:02.400 --> 00:44:03.679
Someone who knows what they're talking about.

00:44:04.079 --> 00:44:04.960
Not really down with that.

00:44:05.360 --> 00:44:08.320
Also, you may not step out of a plane in flight.

00:44:08.719 --> 00:44:11.840
Is that just while you're over the state of Maine, though?

00:44:13.199 --> 00:44:14.000
It's okay when you're not going to be able to do it.

00:44:14.159 --> 00:44:16.960
If you just crossed into Connecticut, we've already talked about their own.

00:44:17.119 --> 00:44:18.960
Well, that's not their law, so I think that's okay.

00:44:19.199 --> 00:44:21.760
Just not over the state of you step out of a plane in flight.

00:44:22.000 --> 00:44:22.159
Yeah.

00:44:22.239 --> 00:44:23.599
But if it's in Connecticut, it's okay.

00:44:23.760 --> 00:44:25.039
Connecticut has no laws against that.

00:44:25.199 --> 00:44:28.800
But I'm just saying that you're going to step out of a plane in flight.

00:44:29.119 --> 00:44:30.480
What state are you over, right?

00:44:30.559 --> 00:44:31.440
I see where you're going with this.

00:44:31.840 --> 00:44:32.800
Only in Maine it's illegal.

00:44:35.280 --> 00:44:37.599
I mean, maybe we're illegal in Maine.

00:44:38.079 --> 00:44:38.960
It's illegal in Maine.

00:44:39.039 --> 00:44:39.519
You can't do it.

00:44:39.679 --> 00:44:42.239
Okay, so maybe I'm over Nevada and now it's okay.

00:44:42.320 --> 00:44:43.199
I step out of the flight.

00:44:43.599 --> 00:44:46.079
But the question I have is that can you not parachute?

00:44:46.239 --> 00:44:49.280
I mean, can you not skydive in the I mean maybe not?

00:44:49.440 --> 00:44:51.199
Are they trying to make skydiving illegal?

00:44:51.440 --> 00:44:52.239
I mean, that would be a good one.

00:44:52.400 --> 00:44:55.519
Well, maybe maybe I'm coming from a have you ever been skydiving?

00:44:56.559 --> 00:44:56.880
Me?

00:44:57.760 --> 00:45:00.639
There's no fucking reasons to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.

00:45:00.719 --> 00:45:03.840
Yes, exactly what the funny of it.

00:45:04.079 --> 00:45:04.800
Heartbreak Ridge.

00:45:05.119 --> 00:45:05.679
There's nothing.

00:45:07.199 --> 00:45:12.639
But I mean, maybe they're saying sky so if you had a skydiving company, you probably don't want to go to Maine.

00:45:12.880 --> 00:45:13.599
That makes sense.

00:45:13.920 --> 00:45:14.159
Yeah.

00:45:14.320 --> 00:45:15.440
Because their law says you can't.

00:45:18.880 --> 00:45:20.480
So if I was because they don't live up there.

00:45:20.639 --> 00:45:30.000
So if I was the producers and the show Live ED, I'd be like having people like down on the ground like with people who skydive and say, hey, you're under a wrist fucker.

00:45:30.320 --> 00:45:31.119
For skydiving.

00:45:31.360 --> 00:45:33.920
For skydiving, because you jumped out of a perfectly good aircraft.

00:45:34.159 --> 00:45:34.480
Yeah.

00:45:35.920 --> 00:45:38.079
They have a bias against skydiving.

00:45:38.159 --> 00:45:38.639
Yeah, facts.

00:45:38.880 --> 00:45:39.039
Yeah.

00:45:39.199 --> 00:45:44.639
So in Maryland, you can't be in a public park park with a sleeveless shirt.

00:45:45.119 --> 00:45:48.239
Powell would be it's a$10 fine.

00:45:48.639 --> 00:45:48.719
Oh.

00:45:48.880 --> 00:45:49.280
Sleeveless?

00:45:49.360 --> 00:45:50.079
You mean a tank top?

00:45:50.480 --> 00:45:50.960
Sleeveless.

00:45:52.400 --> 00:45:55.440
So that's not a bad thing.

00:45:55.760 --> 00:45:57.360
I'm sure the gay community likes that.

00:45:57.519 --> 00:45:59.920
It's only they'll pay the$10 and they'll keep going.

00:46:00.559 --> 00:46:01.440
White beaters.

00:46:01.679 --> 00:46:02.800
Gotta have your white beaters.

00:46:02.960 --> 00:46:03.360
That's right.

00:46:03.519 --> 00:46:05.519
First of all, they're called domestic violence shirts.

00:46:06.239 --> 00:46:07.519
Cut-off jeans.

00:46:07.920 --> 00:46:10.639
What if you have the white beater with cutoff jeans?

00:46:10.719 --> 00:46:11.840
Because that's that's the fashion.

00:46:12.320 --> 00:46:13.679
No, you can't have the sleeveless shirt.

00:46:13.760 --> 00:46:14.719
That's$10 fine.

00:46:14.960 --> 00:46:15.599
Are you kidding me?

00:46:15.760 --> 00:46:17.519
You got your wranglers cut off?

00:46:17.760 --> 00:46:19.199
Uh no, normally they don't do wranglers.

00:46:19.280 --> 00:46:21.199
There's more levis or some.

00:46:21.519 --> 00:46:22.079
I don't see.

00:46:22.239 --> 00:46:26.800
Wranglers normally are worn by a group that doesn't do the cutoffs and the white.

00:46:27.440 --> 00:46:30.719
Well, unless you're in a park at Well, yeah.

00:46:31.039 --> 00:46:31.199
Yeah.

00:46:31.440 --> 00:46:32.800
This obviously is not a law in New York.

00:46:33.039 --> 00:46:33.119
All right.

00:46:33.199 --> 00:46:34.239
You guys need to calm down a little bit.

00:46:34.400 --> 00:46:34.960
Or San Francisco.

00:46:35.039 --> 00:46:35.119
What?

00:46:35.360 --> 00:46:36.000
That's all it is.

00:46:36.800 --> 00:46:41.199
In Massachusetts, it's illegal to put tomatoes in clam chowder.

00:46:42.559 --> 00:46:44.559
Oh, well, they're not going to be able to do that.

00:46:45.199 --> 00:46:46.800
The whole New England clam chowder and the white.

00:46:48.880 --> 00:46:49.119
Yeah, yeah.

00:46:49.280 --> 00:46:50.559
It's the red or the white, right?

00:46:50.719 --> 00:46:50.960
Yeah.

00:46:51.360 --> 00:46:52.159
Yeah, you can't.

00:46:52.400 --> 00:46:52.719
They're the one.

00:46:53.039 --> 00:46:53.760
They made it a law.

00:46:54.239 --> 00:46:54.400
Okay.

00:46:54.559 --> 00:46:55.199
They made it a law.

00:46:55.360 --> 00:46:55.920
What's the two times?

00:46:57.360 --> 00:47:00.880
What's the other name of the other one that goes red?

00:47:01.119 --> 00:47:01.599
The other one?

00:47:01.760 --> 00:47:02.320
Yeah, the other one.

00:47:02.400 --> 00:47:03.440
There's the other one.

00:47:04.000 --> 00:47:06.960
Also, you must have a license to wear a goatee.

00:47:07.440 --> 00:47:07.679
Oh.

00:47:09.519 --> 00:47:11.920
I believe that a hundred percent.

00:47:12.639 --> 00:47:13.760
Use it or pay for that.

00:47:14.159 --> 00:47:17.519
Like a fishing license and that's a$10 fine.

00:47:17.679 --> 00:47:17.760
Yeah.

00:47:17.920 --> 00:47:18.000
Yeah.

00:47:20.559 --> 00:47:21.519
Breaking the law.

00:47:23.039 --> 00:47:24.079
Breaking the law.

00:47:24.239 --> 00:47:25.039
Breaking the law.

00:47:25.280 --> 00:47:25.440
Yeah.

00:47:25.760 --> 00:47:28.880
I guess we're not going to mess off the retirement list.

00:47:29.280 --> 00:47:31.039
No, but this is a serious question.

00:47:31.199 --> 00:47:34.960
Why are you doing this hair?

00:47:35.599 --> 00:47:38.239
Why don't you just let it ride for the rest of your face?

00:47:38.400 --> 00:47:39.199
I like beards.

00:47:39.360 --> 00:47:41.519
Why are you cutting it off here?

00:47:41.840 --> 00:47:45.039
You're going to the effort to like tidy it up and clean it around.

00:47:45.360 --> 00:47:46.719
Because the rest looks a little fine.

00:47:46.880 --> 00:47:47.280
It looks clean.

00:47:47.519 --> 00:47:49.760
Because I just want to break the law in fucking Massachusetts.

00:47:50.159 --> 00:47:50.880
You want to break the law.

00:47:51.039 --> 00:47:52.320
But I don't want the full.

00:47:52.639 --> 00:47:53.599
Yeah, fuck Massachusetts.

00:47:53.679 --> 00:47:54.239
That's why we do it.

00:47:54.480 --> 00:47:55.840
Why don't you just let the rest of it ride?

00:47:56.079 --> 00:47:57.119
Never been a Massachusetts fan.

00:47:57.199 --> 00:47:57.440
No.

00:47:57.920 --> 00:47:58.800
I don't like beards.

00:47:59.039 --> 00:48:01.280
You just enjoy the look of the goatee?

00:48:02.239 --> 00:48:05.760
I've got big fucking lips, and that's why I have a goatee to try to hide them.

00:48:06.320 --> 00:48:07.760
Why would you hide big lips?

00:48:07.840 --> 00:48:11.199
Do you know how much women pay to make their lips big?

00:48:12.480 --> 00:48:13.199
Why would you want to hide it?

00:48:13.440 --> 00:48:14.000
Check that yet.

00:48:14.159 --> 00:48:14.480
Oh yeah.

00:48:14.800 --> 00:48:16.960
Maybe we can do that after the All right.

00:48:17.039 --> 00:48:18.079
What about you, Jeffy?

00:48:18.159 --> 00:48:19.599
Why do you like a goatee?

00:48:19.920 --> 00:48:23.199
Because my face looks cleaner if I didn't have a beard.

00:48:24.559 --> 00:48:26.960
Do you enjoy the goatee or do you prefer a beard?

00:48:27.360 --> 00:48:28.480
No, I like the goatee.

00:48:29.119 --> 00:48:29.760
Check out a rash.

00:48:29.840 --> 00:48:30.159
It's awesome.

00:48:30.320 --> 00:48:31.199
I don't like beers.

00:48:32.880 --> 00:48:34.239
It's texture.

00:48:34.880 --> 00:48:35.840
If you know what I mean.

00:48:36.079 --> 00:48:36.719
Ooh la la.

00:48:37.039 --> 00:48:38.480
It's texture, if you know what I mean.

00:48:38.719 --> 00:48:39.840
Ribbed for her pleasure.

00:48:41.840 --> 00:48:42.400
It's too far.

00:48:43.039 --> 00:48:43.360
Whiskers.

00:48:43.599 --> 00:48:45.039
Whiskers for her pleasure.

00:48:45.920 --> 00:48:50.719
In Minnesota, all men driving motorcycles must wear shirts.

00:48:51.039 --> 00:48:54.079
Well, that's and hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays.

00:48:54.320 --> 00:48:54.800
No, wait.

00:48:55.199 --> 00:48:55.679
One out of two.

00:48:55.840 --> 00:48:56.639
One out of two.

00:48:57.199 --> 00:48:58.000
Yeah, I agree.

00:48:58.159 --> 00:48:59.360
Minnesota, no hamburgers.

00:48:59.599 --> 00:49:00.960
Well, that's Minnesota for you.

00:49:01.199 --> 00:49:05.119
And if you're not wearing a shirt in the wintertime of the state, they're okay.

00:49:05.280 --> 00:49:05.440
Right?

00:49:06.159 --> 00:49:07.760
All five get like that.

00:49:08.000 --> 00:49:09.199
Tofu burger.

00:49:09.599 --> 00:49:10.400
I think that's okay.

00:49:10.559 --> 00:49:11.440
That says hamburger.

00:49:12.000 --> 00:49:12.639
Chicken hamburger.

00:49:12.880 --> 00:49:15.360
For all your vegans out there, fuck off.

00:49:15.760 --> 00:49:16.639
You can have hamburger.

00:49:16.880 --> 00:49:18.960
You can have a hamburger on a tofu burger on Sunday.

00:49:19.199 --> 00:49:19.920
Yeah, you can have fake burger.

00:49:20.079 --> 00:49:20.639
I like tofu.

00:49:20.800 --> 00:49:21.519
I'm okay with tofu.

00:49:21.760 --> 00:49:22.400
You can have fake burgers.

00:49:22.880 --> 00:49:24.159
Then don't throw tofu under the bus.

00:49:24.320 --> 00:49:24.559
I didn't.

00:49:24.639 --> 00:49:26.079
I threw the vegans under the bus.

00:49:26.559 --> 00:49:28.239
No, you threw tofu under the bus.

00:49:28.400 --> 00:49:30.800
No, I I'll barbecue taroke tofu.

00:49:31.599 --> 00:49:32.000
Promise?

00:49:32.239 --> 00:49:32.960
Once in a while, yes.

00:49:33.119 --> 00:49:34.239
I think you promised me.

00:49:34.719 --> 00:49:35.920
I don't have a problem with tofu.

00:49:36.880 --> 00:49:37.760
Mississippi.

00:49:40.239 --> 00:49:42.719
You can't walk a dog without dressing it in diapers.

00:49:43.119 --> 00:49:43.519
No way.

00:49:43.760 --> 00:49:45.519
They don't want you pooping in the park.

00:49:45.599 --> 00:49:47.360
I just pick it up, but that's okay.

00:49:48.400 --> 00:49:52.559
It's also ill unlawful to shave in the center of Main Street.

00:49:54.000 --> 00:49:55.199
Down on Main Street.

00:49:55.519 --> 00:50:00.159
I know you guys were thinking of going to Mississippi and tidying up your goatees.

00:50:01.440 --> 00:50:04.800
But I just want to go on Main Street and do a little manscaping, but that's not going to happen.

00:50:05.199 --> 00:50:06.079
That's not going to happen.

00:50:06.320 --> 00:50:07.280
Not on Main Street.

00:50:07.519 --> 00:50:09.360
M-I-S-S-I-S-I-P-I.

00:50:09.760 --> 00:50:14.000
Fuck, I forgot the try that again.

00:50:16.159 --> 00:50:18.320
M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-I-P-P-I.

00:50:18.800 --> 00:50:20.000
That's how in grade school we learned it.

00:50:20.079 --> 00:50:22.079
How do you spell fucking Mississippi?

00:50:23.119 --> 00:50:24.400
Nobody can pronounce Oregon.

00:50:24.800 --> 00:50:25.280
Oregon.

00:50:25.760 --> 00:50:26.320
Oregon.

00:50:26.480 --> 00:50:26.880
Oregon.

00:50:27.280 --> 00:50:27.679
Oregon.

00:50:27.920 --> 00:50:28.559
Oregon.

00:50:28.719 --> 00:50:29.280
Oregon.

00:50:29.519 --> 00:50:31.280
Why is there an S on the end of Illinois?

00:50:31.440 --> 00:50:31.920
I don't know.

00:50:32.079 --> 00:50:32.719
It's Illinois.

00:50:32.960 --> 00:50:33.360
It's not.

00:50:33.760 --> 00:50:37.440
In Missouri, it's not illegal to speed.

00:50:38.719 --> 00:50:40.159
I wonder if that's still a real law.

00:50:40.800 --> 00:50:41.039
Damn.

00:50:42.639 --> 00:50:43.440
I'm going to buy a Porsche.

00:50:43.840 --> 00:50:45.679
Drive across it back and forth, back and forth.

00:50:45.760 --> 00:50:46.480
And then celebrate.

00:50:46.880 --> 00:50:47.199
Where?

00:50:47.440 --> 00:50:47.920
Missouri.

00:50:48.239 --> 00:50:48.719
Missouri.

00:50:48.880 --> 00:50:49.360
Missouri?

00:50:49.519 --> 00:50:51.440
You can't illegal.

00:50:52.559 --> 00:50:54.159
It says it's not illegal to speed.

00:50:54.320 --> 00:50:54.639
Dude.

00:50:54.880 --> 00:50:58.079
Also, four women may not rent an apartment together.

00:50:58.400 --> 00:50:59.039
I'm against it.

00:51:01.760 --> 00:51:02.400
Only six.

00:51:03.360 --> 00:51:03.840
I'm against six.

00:51:04.079 --> 00:51:05.679
You have to have three or five.

00:51:05.840 --> 00:51:06.159
Yes.

00:51:06.480 --> 00:51:07.199
Three or five.

00:51:07.360 --> 00:51:08.719
There's a minimum, actually.

00:51:10.400 --> 00:51:12.000
Or like three's company.

00:51:12.960 --> 00:51:16.000
Yeah, I'll pay for four women to rent the apartment.

00:51:17.840 --> 00:51:18.079
For sure.

00:51:18.320 --> 00:51:18.800
No, why?

00:51:18.880 --> 00:51:19.760
Six is legal.

00:51:20.159 --> 00:51:20.800
Montana.

00:51:21.199 --> 00:51:21.760
Six is better.

00:51:22.079 --> 00:51:22.559
Oh, Montana.

00:51:22.639 --> 00:51:23.199
Oh, this should be good.

00:51:23.360 --> 00:51:23.760
Montana.

00:51:24.000 --> 00:51:24.480
Love your fellow.

00:51:28.320 --> 00:51:29.440
Absolutely.

00:51:32.719 --> 00:51:37.920
If you're dumb enough to have your mistress send you mail, you're that's stupid.

00:51:38.159 --> 00:51:38.719
Right?

00:51:39.760 --> 00:51:42.639
Also, balls may not be thrown within the city limits.

00:51:43.920 --> 00:51:44.719
Define balls.

00:51:46.079 --> 00:51:46.719
Any balls.

00:51:46.880 --> 00:51:47.679
Oh, okay.

00:51:49.039 --> 00:51:51.280
So I guess I can't cut them off and throw them across the city.

00:51:51.440 --> 00:51:53.199
Yeah, you can't cut off my balls in throw it off.

00:51:53.519 --> 00:51:54.320
Within the city limits.

00:51:54.400 --> 00:51:55.679
But if you're in the suburbs, it's okay.

00:51:56.000 --> 00:51:56.079
Okay.

00:51:56.159 --> 00:51:58.480
I'll turn your ass in if you do that if we move there.

00:51:59.599 --> 00:52:01.280
No, we'll just live in the suburbs.

00:52:01.599 --> 00:52:04.480
Rocking Mountain oysters cannot be tossed out now in the city limit.

00:52:04.719 --> 00:52:05.440
That's right.

00:52:05.920 --> 00:52:06.719
Nebraska.

00:52:06.800 --> 00:52:09.760
A man is not allowed to run around with a shaved chest.

00:52:10.000 --> 00:52:11.519
Thank you, Lord.

00:52:13.760 --> 00:52:14.960
I don't want to see it.

00:52:15.039 --> 00:52:16.239
Well, shaved chest.

00:52:16.320 --> 00:52:18.800
No, unshaved chest is what I was thinking.

00:52:19.679 --> 00:52:20.559
Shaved chest is fine.

00:52:20.800 --> 00:52:22.320
Do you prefer shaved?

00:52:22.480 --> 00:52:23.039
Do you have a preference?

00:52:24.000 --> 00:52:24.880
He can't run around with a chance.

00:52:26.400 --> 00:52:27.039
Shaved or unshaved?

00:52:27.280 --> 00:52:28.639
He could not run around with a shaved chest.

00:52:29.760 --> 00:52:30.639
Hair just not good.

00:52:30.800 --> 00:52:36.559
Oh, just a little I mean, but a little bit's fine, but I don't want to see that stuff like hanging out like this.

00:52:37.440 --> 00:52:41.119
I got one poor patient who looks like a gorilla everywhere over the top of his head.

00:52:41.199 --> 00:52:43.760
It's like, how does God curse you so bad to wear?

00:52:44.079 --> 00:52:48.000
I mean, really, the neck is hairy, but everything here, bold as a billiard.

00:52:48.079 --> 00:52:50.400
He's got a goatee that hangs down to here, which is not good.

00:52:50.559 --> 00:52:54.239
I'm like, I can't get my electric to stick to you, man.

00:52:54.880 --> 00:52:55.599
Poor bastard.

00:52:56.559 --> 00:52:57.760
Poor bastard.

00:52:59.039 --> 00:53:00.000
It's everywhere.

00:53:00.159 --> 00:53:03.920
He is a mongoloid, hairy son of a gun.

00:53:04.159 --> 00:53:06.880
That's not just like Nebraska.

00:53:07.039 --> 00:53:09.920
Barbers are forbidden to eat onions between 7 a.m.

00:53:10.079 --> 00:53:10.719
and 7 p.m.

00:53:11.039 --> 00:53:11.760
I'll take that.

00:53:12.000 --> 00:53:12.960
I will too.

00:53:13.280 --> 00:53:14.320
Can't eat onions?

00:53:14.480 --> 00:53:15.199
Can't eat onions.

00:53:15.360 --> 00:53:15.679
That's mostly.

00:53:16.079 --> 00:53:16.639
Because they're in your face.

00:53:17.039 --> 00:53:20.000
Well, I don't want a freaking barber, you know, with onions breathing on your hair.

00:53:20.400 --> 00:53:21.360
Well, are they cooking on the bottom?

00:53:21.440 --> 00:53:22.639
Can they bring the kangaroo into your barber?

00:53:22.880 --> 00:53:23.280
Are they wrong?

00:53:23.599 --> 00:53:24.480
Oh, that's a different state.

00:53:24.719 --> 00:53:25.280
Like on a burger?

00:53:25.440 --> 00:53:25.519
Okay.

00:53:26.719 --> 00:53:28.239
It says onions, period.

00:53:28.719 --> 00:53:30.559
If they're like sauteed, that'd be good.

00:53:31.199 --> 00:53:37.599
Would you like to have this haircut and like, hey, fuck you, man.

00:53:37.679 --> 00:53:39.199
Get the fuck away from me, onion breath.

00:53:39.360 --> 00:53:40.880
Have you ever heard of brushing your teeth?

00:53:41.119 --> 00:53:42.159
I'll turn that fucker in.

00:53:42.400 --> 00:53:43.920
Yeah, I like I like that law.

00:53:44.800 --> 00:53:47.679
Definitely like the one with the big supporter.

00:53:48.000 --> 00:53:50.320
You always find the barber with the body comic.

00:53:51.599 --> 00:53:52.159
Fine.

00:53:52.400 --> 00:53:55.679
In Nevada, it's against the law to pawn your dentures.

00:53:56.719 --> 00:53:58.079
I'm good with that.

00:53:59.199 --> 00:54:03.039
Oh, so do I really want someone else's mouth?

00:54:03.199 --> 00:54:03.599
I don't watch it.

00:54:05.360 --> 00:54:06.400
I don't watch pawn stars.

00:54:06.719 --> 00:54:18.480
I don't watch pawn stars, but I don't think that I've ever if if I even you know went across and they Yeah, I can only go five bucks on those dentures.

00:54:19.519 --> 00:54:21.599
So negotiating.

00:54:23.599 --> 00:54:26.559
They're like, oh gosh, I was really hoping for seven bucks.

00:54:27.280 --> 00:54:31.039
Um it's also illegal to drive a camel on the highway.

00:54:31.519 --> 00:54:32.719
Yeah, they're prevalent.

00:54:33.039 --> 00:54:34.559
Because they have lots of camels down there.

00:54:35.440 --> 00:54:35.679
Yeah.

00:54:35.920 --> 00:54:40.239
Well, they're the Sahara casino, their their logo used to be a camel.

00:54:41.039 --> 00:54:43.199
Illegal! Yeah, can't do that.

00:54:43.679 --> 00:54:46.000
That's why the Sahara is gone now.

00:54:47.599 --> 00:54:51.440
Because people ran about because people were coming up there trying to ride the camel.

00:54:53.039 --> 00:54:54.320
Do you have valet for my camel?

00:54:54.639 --> 00:55:00.639
No, we we have to close the whole casino down on account of this breach in the camel policy.

00:55:00.960 --> 00:55:05.039
In New Hampshire, it's you may not run your machinery on Sundays.

00:55:05.760 --> 00:55:05.920
Okay.

00:55:06.079 --> 00:55:07.039
Does that include a vibrator?

00:55:07.199 --> 00:55:08.079
Well, this isn't on machine.

00:55:10.159 --> 00:55:10.639
Good question.

00:55:11.519 --> 00:55:11.920
Machinery.

00:55:12.000 --> 00:55:13.360
How do you classify machinery?

00:55:13.599 --> 00:55:15.440
Well, probably electric versus battery.

00:55:15.679 --> 00:55:17.440
What about if it's a kickstart?

00:55:17.679 --> 00:55:18.559
What's that mean?

00:55:18.719 --> 00:55:19.840
I mean just a high-powered.

00:55:20.239 --> 00:55:20.719
It's a big one.

00:55:23.119 --> 00:55:25.280
Some women just like a little bit more power.

00:55:25.679 --> 00:55:26.480
A generator?

00:55:26.639 --> 00:55:26.880
Yeah.

00:55:28.079 --> 00:55:28.480
Maybe.

00:55:30.159 --> 00:55:32.400
I would say you're fucked on Sunday, but not necessarily.

00:55:33.519 --> 00:55:33.920
You might be.

00:55:34.159 --> 00:55:34.719
Not in this state.

00:55:35.119 --> 00:55:35.920
Depending on where you live.

00:55:36.159 --> 00:55:37.119
Not in New Hampshire.

00:55:37.280 --> 00:55:38.000
Not in New Hampshire.

00:55:38.159 --> 00:55:39.519
Oh God, we're getting closer to Oregon.

00:55:39.599 --> 00:55:39.920
Shit.

00:55:40.239 --> 00:55:40.480
We are.

00:55:40.719 --> 00:55:41.440
Yes, we are.

00:55:41.760 --> 00:55:42.880
New Jersey.

00:55:43.119 --> 00:55:46.800
Automobiles are not to pass horse-drawn carriages on the street.

00:55:46.960 --> 00:55:47.599
No, you shouldn't.

00:55:47.760 --> 00:55:49.360
That's got to be the Amish issue.

00:55:49.519 --> 00:55:50.079
You shouldn't.

00:55:50.320 --> 00:55:51.599
In New Jersey?

00:55:51.840 --> 00:55:53.039
It's in that area.

00:55:53.280 --> 00:55:54.000
No, you should pass.

00:55:54.400 --> 00:55:56.079
Aren't there more Philadelphia and Ohio?

00:55:56.559 --> 00:55:57.519
You should pass responsibly.

00:55:57.679 --> 00:55:59.039
Yeah, Pennsylvania and shit.

00:55:59.199 --> 00:55:59.440
Yeah.

00:55:59.519 --> 00:56:00.480
There's some in Kansas too.

00:56:00.719 --> 00:56:04.800
Also, cats must wear three bells to warn birds of their whereabouts.

00:56:05.519 --> 00:56:05.760
No.

00:56:06.159 --> 00:56:06.480
Peter.

00:56:07.199 --> 00:56:07.519
This is not.

00:56:08.159 --> 00:56:08.880
This is not real.

00:56:09.760 --> 00:56:10.559
That's not real.

00:56:10.880 --> 00:56:11.280
It's real.

00:56:11.840 --> 00:56:12.480
No, it's not real.

00:56:12.719 --> 00:56:13.119
It's real.

00:56:13.280 --> 00:56:13.840
No, it's not.

00:56:14.000 --> 00:56:14.639
You would not be able to do that.

00:56:14.800 --> 00:56:15.920
These are dumbass laws, Chris.

00:56:16.559 --> 00:56:18.159
It could be from the 1800s.

00:56:18.800 --> 00:56:21.840
You can't you can't go, oh, that's that one's you can't pick and choose what's real.

00:56:22.320 --> 00:56:24.960
And see what's still like dumb ass.

00:56:25.760 --> 00:56:28.559
Looking up every one of these to see if they're still applicable.

00:56:29.360 --> 00:56:31.039
Well, yeah, I mean, that's not applicable.

00:56:31.360 --> 00:56:31.599
Feel free.

00:56:32.559 --> 00:56:32.719
Yeah.

00:56:32.960 --> 00:56:34.239
That's why they're dumb ass laws.

00:56:35.519 --> 00:56:36.239
That's the whole point of this.

00:56:39.039 --> 00:56:40.159
It describes itself.

00:56:40.320 --> 00:56:40.400
Okay.

00:56:40.639 --> 00:56:41.440
Uh, New Mexico.

00:56:41.760 --> 00:56:42.639
I'm sure there have been appeals.

00:56:43.039 --> 00:56:43.599
New Mexico.

00:56:43.760 --> 00:56:49.360
It's illegal for cab drivers to reach out and pull potential customers into their cabs.

00:56:50.960 --> 00:56:52.079
So is rape.

00:56:52.639 --> 00:56:54.639
I mean, aren't they the same thing?

00:56:54.960 --> 00:56:55.679
What did you say?

00:56:55.920 --> 00:56:59.440
It's illegal for cab drivers to reach out and pull customers into their cabs.

00:56:59.679 --> 00:57:01.840
Get your ass in my cab, motherfucker.

00:57:03.119 --> 00:57:06.000
Also, don't be caught carrying your lunchbox down Main Street.

00:57:06.239 --> 00:57:06.960
It's too dark.

00:57:07.599 --> 00:57:09.599
Man, what if it's like a Scooby-Doo Star Trek box?

00:57:09.840 --> 00:57:10.559
I think it's Star Trek.

00:57:10.800 --> 00:57:11.199
Star Wars.

00:57:11.360 --> 00:57:19.440
I mean, those are is it just like new wave lunchboxes or and what about the side street right next to Main Street?

00:57:19.599 --> 00:57:20.159
Is that okay?

00:57:20.320 --> 00:57:20.719
I think so.

00:57:20.880 --> 00:57:21.039
Okay.

00:57:21.119 --> 00:57:21.280
Yeah.

00:57:21.360 --> 00:57:21.440
Yeah.

00:57:21.760 --> 00:57:22.559
Well, just go on a side street.

00:57:22.719 --> 00:57:24.719
Well, you gotta drop the fucker if you go on Main Street.

00:57:24.800 --> 00:57:24.960
Yeah.

00:57:25.039 --> 00:57:27.679
Well, just eat your lunch before you come back and get on Main Street.

00:57:28.159 --> 00:57:28.320
Yeah.

00:57:28.400 --> 00:57:28.880
There's that.

00:57:29.039 --> 00:57:29.599
Get rid of it.

00:57:30.159 --> 00:57:34.079
In New York, jaywalking is legal as long as it's not diagonal.

00:57:34.159 --> 00:57:39.280
That is, you can cross the street out of the crosswalk, but you can't cross it diagonally.

00:57:39.519 --> 00:57:40.719
That's pretty much everywhere.

00:57:41.199 --> 00:57:42.480
This is where curling comes in.

00:57:42.800 --> 00:57:44.480
Curling understands angles.

00:57:44.800 --> 00:57:46.639
This is these people are probably curlers.

00:57:46.880 --> 00:57:47.599
Probably so.

00:57:48.079 --> 00:57:49.039
You can't walk.

00:57:49.199 --> 00:57:50.320
I no.

00:57:50.559 --> 00:57:51.199
Don't walk.

00:57:51.599 --> 00:57:55.760
Also, a fine of$25 can be levied for flirting.

00:57:56.159 --> 00:57:56.800
Whoa.

00:57:57.679 --> 00:57:58.800
That's a stiff fine.

00:57:58.960 --> 00:57:59.440
$25.

00:58:00.320 --> 00:58:01.519
Yeah, for flirting.

00:58:01.920 --> 00:58:03.519
Stiff fine for a stiffy.

00:58:04.000 --> 00:58:04.880
In New York.

00:58:06.400 --> 00:58:07.440
Please define it.

00:58:07.519 --> 00:58:12.079
You can have to pay for my drinks because I'm going to be out of fresh out of money just by flirting.

00:58:12.400 --> 00:58:12.800
You look at me.

00:58:12.880 --> 00:58:13.519
I'm like$25.

00:58:13.920 --> 00:58:14.320
So you go there.

00:58:14.480 --> 00:58:16.239
Or I'm going to report you to the subway police.

00:58:16.320 --> 00:58:16.960
So that's right.

00:58:17.119 --> 00:58:20.480
Next time I'm in New York, I'm going to like, hey, baby, you look pretty good.

00:58:20.639 --> 00:58:22.960
You look even better, you know, suck at my dick.

00:58:23.039 --> 00:58:25.119
So oh shit,$25 fine.

00:58:25.920 --> 00:58:26.960
That's a good looking chin.

00:58:27.440 --> 00:58:28.400
This one's really good.

00:58:29.440 --> 00:58:30.320
North Carolina.

00:58:30.639 --> 00:58:31.599
It's only$25.

00:58:32.079 --> 00:58:32.639
North Carolina.

00:58:32.800 --> 00:58:34.239
What if Jay say yes?

00:58:34.480 --> 00:58:34.719
Right.

00:58:35.440 --> 00:58:36.159
It's worth$25.

00:58:36.559 --> 00:58:36.639
Yeah.

00:58:36.880 --> 00:58:38.079
Cheapest hooker in New York.

00:58:39.119 --> 00:58:40.239
North Carolina.

00:58:40.480 --> 00:58:44.079
You can be fined for singing out of tune for more than 90 seconds.

00:58:44.400 --> 00:58:45.519
Fuck, I'd be fined every time I've got a big thing.

00:58:45.679 --> 00:58:46.480
Mike, I like to better.

00:58:46.559 --> 00:58:52.079
I liked you better when you were singing and not talking about the New York subway.

00:58:52.239 --> 00:58:53.039
So like Peter Brady.

00:58:54.159 --> 00:58:59.599
So Peter Brady on the Brady Bunch, man, would be, he can't, he could say, Well, it's time to change.

00:58:59.760 --> 00:59:01.679
Yeah, it's time to change.

00:59:01.840 --> 00:59:03.679
You know, and shit like that on the Brady Bunch.

00:59:03.760 --> 00:59:04.719
So that's all I got.

00:59:04.880 --> 00:59:05.199
What was that?

00:59:05.280 --> 00:59:06.159
Oh, the Partridge Family.

00:59:06.239 --> 00:59:07.199
The other one back in those days.

00:59:07.360 --> 00:59:08.719
Yeah, but they sang good.

00:59:10.000 --> 00:59:11.440
It probably wouldn't be a hit today.

00:59:11.679 --> 00:59:13.360
For the time, it was dead.

00:59:13.519 --> 00:59:13.920
No, listen.

00:59:14.320 --> 00:59:15.119
None of none of the lines.

00:59:16.000 --> 00:59:19.599
Hey, listen, none of the listeners really know about those songs.

00:59:20.159 --> 00:59:21.760
Yeah, well, they'll there's there's Google.

00:59:22.079 --> 00:59:22.559
Google them.

00:59:22.639 --> 00:59:23.360
They'll Google.

00:59:23.760 --> 00:59:28.239
In North Dakota, it's illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.

00:59:29.199 --> 00:59:30.559
Sorry to hear that.

00:59:32.079 --> 00:59:32.880
Man, I wish they had that.

00:59:33.199 --> 00:59:34.480
So you might have to get up and run.

00:59:35.280 --> 00:59:36.719
You never know when you gotta get up and run.

00:59:36.960 --> 00:59:38.719
I wish they had that fucking law here.

00:59:40.159 --> 00:59:41.360
How about this one?

00:59:41.519 --> 00:59:47.119
In Ohio, no one may be arrested on a Sunday or on the 4th of July.

00:59:47.440 --> 00:59:49.280
That leaves some open options.

00:59:49.519 --> 00:59:55.199
Does and create all the crime on Sunday or 4th of July?

00:59:55.519 --> 00:59:56.880
Also, you may not run out of gas.

00:59:57.199 --> 00:59:58.239
We could jump out of the plane on Sunday.

00:59:58.400 --> 00:59:59.679
You can't run out of gas arrested.

01:00:00.159 --> 01:00:00.960
It sounds like an alliance.

01:00:01.280 --> 01:00:02.639
You can't run out of gas on Sunday.

01:00:02.880 --> 01:00:04.079
Jesus in the United States.

01:00:04.320 --> 01:00:04.960
Jeez, man.

01:00:05.039 --> 01:00:07.920
So you're you're Ohio football.

01:00:09.280 --> 01:00:09.599
Yeah.

01:00:10.079 --> 01:00:11.119
Why do you argue there?

01:00:11.440 --> 01:00:12.000
Ohio State.

01:00:12.239 --> 01:00:12.639
You said no.

01:00:13.039 --> 01:00:14.559
The next two states will be really good.

01:00:14.800 --> 01:00:16.000
Okay, here's our states.

01:00:16.239 --> 01:00:17.119
Oklahoma.

01:00:17.360 --> 01:00:17.679
Okay.

01:00:18.159 --> 01:00:19.199
In specifically.

01:00:19.679 --> 01:00:22.079
I want to know who's got the dumbest law between the two of us.

01:00:22.159 --> 01:00:22.719
I can't wait to do that.

01:00:23.679 --> 01:00:24.880
Specifically in Ada.

01:00:25.440 --> 01:00:25.599
Okay.

01:00:27.039 --> 01:00:27.920
I know you do.

01:00:28.159 --> 01:00:31.360
If you wear New York Jets clothing, you may be put in jail.

01:00:31.599 --> 01:00:32.480
Oh, that's perfect.

01:00:32.639 --> 01:00:33.360
There's nothing wrong with that.

01:00:33.519 --> 01:00:33.679
Okay.

01:00:33.840 --> 01:00:35.440
That's it.

01:00:35.840 --> 01:00:36.239
I like it.

01:00:36.400 --> 01:00:37.440
Oh, I'm reading it right here.

01:00:38.000 --> 01:00:40.559
It should include Raiders jerseys, but okay.

01:00:40.719 --> 01:00:41.840
We'll go with that.

01:00:42.079 --> 01:00:43.199
Which at the LA?

01:00:43.519 --> 01:00:43.760
Ada.

01:00:44.159 --> 01:00:45.360
Also Ada, Oklahoma.

01:00:46.320 --> 01:00:47.039
Ada, Oklahoma.

01:00:47.280 --> 01:00:48.800
That's a brilliant fucking law.

01:00:49.119 --> 01:00:55.119
Also, in Oklahoma, they will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another person's hamburger.

01:00:55.440 --> 01:00:56.960
Man, Oklahoma rocks.

01:00:57.199 --> 01:00:58.880
The next president may come out of Ada.

01:00:59.440 --> 01:01:00.880
I'm starting to think that these people are pretty.

01:01:01.840 --> 01:01:05.920
It's also against the law to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle.

01:01:06.239 --> 01:01:07.039
Perfect.

01:01:07.360 --> 01:01:13.440
Well, it makes sense, but Yo, the new song God made Oklahoma.

01:01:13.679 --> 01:01:17.760
I'm starting to really feel bad about Oregon right now because Oklahoma, I mean, it's stupid.

01:01:17.920 --> 01:01:19.039
But I'm feeling pretty good about it.

01:01:19.199 --> 01:01:22.639
But why would you be reading Spider-Man when you're driving down the freeway?

01:01:22.880 --> 01:01:23.039
Yeah.

01:01:23.280 --> 01:01:25.440
Why are you reading Spider-Man when you're an adult gym?

01:01:26.880 --> 01:01:28.239
Are you dissing Spider-Man?

01:01:28.559 --> 01:01:28.960
Yes.

01:01:29.199 --> 01:01:30.880
Oh, you savage.

01:01:31.039 --> 01:01:31.840
What's wrong with you?

01:01:32.000 --> 01:01:33.519
Are you are you a professional adult?

01:01:33.599 --> 01:01:34.960
You're grown up because I read it.

01:01:37.840 --> 01:01:39.920
So the organ ones are a little that's different.

01:01:40.159 --> 01:01:40.480
Different.

01:01:41.280 --> 01:01:41.920
Oh, I'm sure they're gonna be.

01:01:42.079 --> 01:01:42.400
Here we go.

01:01:42.559 --> 01:01:43.119
Oh my god.

01:01:43.199 --> 01:01:43.760
Oh no.

01:01:44.000 --> 01:01:49.599
It's against the law for a wedding ceremony ceremony to be performed at a skating rink.

01:01:50.000 --> 01:01:53.360
Oh no! This is where I draw the line.

01:01:53.440 --> 01:01:54.559
This is a hard no.

01:01:54.719 --> 01:01:55.039
Nope.

01:01:55.199 --> 01:01:56.000
I'm out.

01:01:56.239 --> 01:02:00.400
I've catered weddings at skating rings.

01:02:01.119 --> 01:02:04.079
Also, you're against the law.

01:02:04.480 --> 01:02:06.159
In Myrtle Creek specifically.

01:02:06.559 --> 01:02:07.039
Myrtle Creek?

01:02:07.119 --> 01:02:10.559
Oh god, this should be a population of 200 people.

01:02:10.719 --> 01:02:13.119
One may not box with a kangaroo.

01:02:13.920 --> 01:02:16.079
But you can take them in the fucking barber shop, can't you?

01:02:16.400 --> 01:02:16.639
Boy.

01:02:17.119 --> 01:02:17.599
I'm pretty sure.

01:02:17.760 --> 01:02:20.400
What are cities or towns near Myrtle Creek?

01:02:20.639 --> 01:02:22.000
Canyonville, where the casino is.

01:02:22.400 --> 01:02:27.760
You can beat the shit out of a fucking take the fucker to Canyonville and beat the lower.

01:02:27.920 --> 01:02:29.599
If the MMA fights in the casino, you're okay.

01:02:30.000 --> 01:02:31.760
Also can't whistle underwater.

01:02:33.360 --> 01:02:34.239
In Oregon?

01:02:34.400 --> 01:02:35.039
Yeah.

01:02:35.280 --> 01:02:35.760
Yeah, good.

01:02:36.800 --> 01:02:38.880
I want to go try it just on just to fucking get arrested.

01:02:39.360 --> 01:02:41.199
I can't whistle at all, so we're safe.

01:02:41.440 --> 01:02:46.800
So you know, every time she every time she whistles like the Andy Griffith show, he rolls over in his fucking grave.

01:02:47.199 --> 01:02:48.960
How do you whistle underwater?

01:02:49.119 --> 01:02:51.360
If someone can, please let me know.

01:02:51.599 --> 01:02:51.840
Okay.

01:02:52.000 --> 01:02:54.559
In Pennsylvania, all fire hydrants.

01:02:54.639 --> 01:02:55.199
This is a good one.

01:02:55.440 --> 01:02:56.400
Got another fire hydrant.

01:02:57.199 --> 01:03:01.199
All fire hydrants must be checked one hour before all fires.

01:03:01.440 --> 01:03:02.559
How are you going to do that?

01:03:02.639 --> 01:03:03.760
That's stupid.

01:03:04.159 --> 01:03:06.000
That's why these are called dumb laws.

01:03:07.360 --> 01:03:10.159
Every pyro is sitting there going, all right, I'm going to let you know.

01:03:10.239 --> 01:03:11.119
I'm going to start a fire right here.

01:03:11.199 --> 01:03:11.360
Yeah.

01:03:11.519 --> 01:03:12.079
Check that thing.

01:03:12.159 --> 01:03:12.880
Let's see how it goes.

01:03:13.599 --> 01:03:20.400
This is just all evidence that we need more sophisticated and smart people in leadership in our community.

01:03:20.880 --> 01:03:26.079
So in the politicians, so in so in Pennsylvania, they got the 60 minutes thing.

01:03:26.639 --> 01:03:27.920
But you need somebody.

01:03:28.159 --> 01:03:32.400
You need to fire.

01:03:32.480 --> 01:03:32.719
I'm good.

01:03:33.199 --> 01:03:36.880
It's also illegal to sleep on top of the refrigerator outdoors.

01:03:37.199 --> 01:03:38.079
So don't do that.

01:03:38.639 --> 01:03:39.760
The beer fridge is outdoors.

01:03:40.159 --> 01:03:42.639
Well, you know, that could be that could happen.

01:03:42.880 --> 01:03:45.840
Probably be at the base of the that could happen.

01:03:46.559 --> 01:03:48.320
I see myself getting up on top of it.

01:03:48.559 --> 01:03:51.280
Well, yeah, but I'll make my announcement.

01:03:51.519 --> 01:03:54.880
I don't see myself getting on top of one either, but oh it's mini fridge.

01:03:55.760 --> 01:03:56.960
Minifridge There you go.

01:03:57.360 --> 01:03:57.920
I can tell the side.

01:03:58.159 --> 01:04:00.559
I was just resting and leaning on asshole.

01:04:00.719 --> 01:04:01.360
Why are you wrestling?

01:04:01.679 --> 01:04:07.039
I want to I want to officially make my announcement that I'm running for mayor.

01:04:08.079 --> 01:04:08.239
Okay.

01:04:08.719 --> 01:04:10.880
Of Medford, Oregon.

01:04:11.119 --> 01:04:11.360
Oh.

01:04:12.000 --> 01:04:12.159
Okay.

01:04:12.559 --> 01:04:19.119
And I'm accepting proposals for any kind of law that you feel like.

01:04:19.440 --> 01:04:23.360
I thought you were the administrator for the Well, yeah, that's a that's that's a side business.

01:04:25.440 --> 01:04:25.840
Oh maybe.

01:04:26.159 --> 01:04:28.159
Well, I maybe we should do this one.

01:04:28.719 --> 01:04:30.239
We'll do the same one as Rhode Island.

01:04:30.400 --> 01:04:31.039
Yeah, what would you do?

01:04:31.280 --> 01:04:34.079
It is considered offensive to throw pickle juice on a trolley.

01:04:34.320 --> 01:04:34.480
Okay.

01:04:35.679 --> 01:04:36.880
Well we don't have a trolley here.

01:04:37.199 --> 01:04:37.599
Doesn't.

01:04:39.920 --> 01:04:40.559
That's close.

01:04:40.880 --> 01:04:41.119
Okay.

01:04:41.519 --> 01:04:45.039
Can you pick up the proposal?

01:04:45.519 --> 01:04:52.400
So the first person So the first person that did that I'm kind of pissed because I walk around pickle juice all the time.

01:04:52.559 --> 01:04:54.559
Yeah, I like pickle juice, man.

01:04:54.960 --> 01:04:57.119
I've always got some in my pocket.

01:04:59.920 --> 01:05:02.800
Is it a pickle in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

01:05:05.760 --> 01:05:06.639
You walked right into that.

01:05:07.199 --> 01:05:08.000
Well, you want the juice?

01:05:08.639 --> 01:05:10.480
That trolley better pr get pretty close.

01:05:10.559 --> 01:05:13.920
I'm like you didn't have to do all that.

01:05:14.239 --> 01:05:14.559
There you go.

01:05:14.960 --> 01:05:15.519
Nobody saw that.

01:05:15.679 --> 01:05:17.039
South Carolina got on you.

01:05:17.119 --> 01:05:17.760
I'm sorry it got on you.

01:05:18.079 --> 01:05:18.960
Let's go, South Carolina.

01:05:19.199 --> 01:05:20.400
South Carolina.

01:05:22.400 --> 01:05:27.599
Every man must bring a rifle to church on Sunday in order to ward off Indian attacks.

01:05:27.920 --> 01:05:28.320
Nice.

01:05:28.559 --> 01:05:31.599
That's obviously an old one, but good.

01:05:32.559 --> 01:05:32.800
Old.

01:05:33.440 --> 01:05:34.320
Oldie but a goody.

01:05:34.639 --> 01:05:36.639
Also, you can't keep your horse in a bathtub.

01:05:36.800 --> 01:05:37.119
No.

01:05:37.519 --> 01:05:40.000
Well can't keep gators in bathtubs either.

01:05:41.519 --> 01:05:42.239
South Dakota.

01:05:42.320 --> 01:05:45.840
It's illegal to lay down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.

01:05:46.639 --> 01:05:46.960
Oh.

01:05:47.360 --> 01:05:48.400
Of course it is.

01:05:49.119 --> 01:05:49.840
South Dakota.

01:05:50.000 --> 01:05:51.039
Are they known for cheese?

01:05:51.199 --> 01:05:53.199
I I did not know that.

01:05:53.679 --> 01:05:54.400
Cheesy.

01:05:56.239 --> 01:05:57.280
I don't know if they are.

01:05:57.519 --> 01:05:57.920
Anyway.

01:05:58.480 --> 01:05:58.960
Tennessee.

01:05:59.039 --> 01:06:02.800
Driving is to be Done while asleep is not to be done while asleep.

01:06:03.119 --> 01:06:04.079
Good, good law.

01:06:04.239 --> 01:06:04.639
Good law.

01:06:04.800 --> 01:06:06.159
Did we get a lot of people in Oregon to do that?

01:06:06.239 --> 01:06:08.800
I swear to God, people wake up and realize, fuck, I'm driving.

01:06:08.960 --> 01:06:09.280
Yeah.

01:06:09.440 --> 01:06:10.400
I see them all the time.

01:06:10.639 --> 01:06:13.280
Also, it's illegal to catch a fish with a lasso.

01:06:14.400 --> 01:06:15.360
I thought it was my hands.

01:06:15.599 --> 01:06:15.760
Dude.

01:06:16.159 --> 01:06:17.760
One thing says you can't catch my hands.

01:06:18.159 --> 01:06:18.880
This one's a lasso.

01:06:19.039 --> 01:06:19.199
Okay.

01:06:19.599 --> 01:06:20.880
I like fishing, and you know what?

01:06:22.400 --> 01:06:25.039
I would really like to try a lasso a fish.

01:06:25.280 --> 01:06:26.480
Yeah, I'd like to see it.

01:06:26.639 --> 01:06:27.599
I would too.

01:06:28.960 --> 01:06:30.159
We can do either one in Oregon if you like.

01:06:30.320 --> 01:06:30.719
We can't do it.

01:06:30.880 --> 01:06:31.920
Grab my hand, grab my lasso.

01:06:32.079 --> 01:06:35.039
Fuck, we can net them here at lassoing anyway.

01:06:37.039 --> 01:06:41.280
So in Texas, it's illegal to milk another person's cow.

01:06:43.199 --> 01:06:43.360
Okay.

01:06:43.599 --> 01:06:44.400
What if you have permission?

01:06:44.719 --> 01:06:45.679
Private property.

01:06:48.400 --> 01:06:49.679
Defined cow.

01:06:53.519 --> 01:06:54.719
Defined cow.

01:06:58.000 --> 01:06:58.800
In Utah.

01:06:59.679 --> 01:07:01.039
Oh dear God.

01:07:01.440 --> 01:07:03.119
What's allowed in Utah?

01:07:03.599 --> 01:07:05.280
You go to Utah, you go to Utah.

01:07:05.360 --> 01:07:06.880
It's illegal to fish from horseback.

01:07:08.239 --> 01:07:10.000
It's illegal to fish from horseback.

01:07:10.239 --> 01:07:11.039
Bullshit.

01:07:11.360 --> 01:07:14.000
What if you have a lasso or hands?

01:07:15.679 --> 01:07:17.519
Oh, I like this one in Utah.

01:07:17.679 --> 01:07:22.960
The husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence.

01:07:23.360 --> 01:07:23.840
Which wife?

01:07:24.000 --> 01:07:25.519
Woo, woo, woo! Which wife?

01:07:26.800 --> 01:07:28.000
Is that after the first five?

01:07:28.559 --> 01:07:28.719
Exactly.

01:07:29.119 --> 01:07:29.840
All of the state.

01:07:29.920 --> 01:07:31.440
Every adopt it in every state.

01:07:31.599 --> 01:07:31.920
All wives.

01:07:32.400 --> 01:07:33.119
Fucking great question.

01:07:33.199 --> 01:07:34.000
Yeah, which wife.

01:07:34.880 --> 01:07:35.760
When you become mayor.

01:07:36.000 --> 01:07:37.199
Adopt it in every state.

01:07:37.280 --> 01:07:37.599
Yes.

01:07:37.840 --> 01:07:38.480
Virginia.

01:07:38.800 --> 01:07:41.519
I will I will advance our initiative.

01:07:41.920 --> 01:07:43.119
You can count on me.

01:07:43.360 --> 01:07:47.840
Swearing at someone over the phone in Virginia is punishable by a hundred dollar fine.

01:07:48.320 --> 01:07:50.639
Fuck you! Can you still send a dick pic?

01:07:50.960 --> 01:07:51.519
I think so, yeah.

01:07:51.760 --> 01:07:52.079
Okay, great.

01:07:53.119 --> 01:07:55.679
No, that I don't like that because then you can't do prank calls.

01:07:55.840 --> 01:07:56.800
I love prank calls.

01:07:56.960 --> 01:07:57.360
Yeah.

01:07:58.159 --> 01:08:00.960
Well, in Washington, all lollipops are banned.

01:08:01.920 --> 01:08:03.840
And you may not ride an ugly horse.

01:08:04.159 --> 01:08:04.719
Boring.

01:08:04.960 --> 01:08:05.199
Oh.

01:08:05.440 --> 01:08:06.800
How do you judge ugly?

01:08:07.039 --> 01:08:07.920
I don't know.

01:08:08.639 --> 01:08:09.199
That's rude.

01:08:09.280 --> 01:08:10.639
Again, Rebecca Lobo.

01:08:11.039 --> 01:08:12.880
I stand for my horse comrades.

01:08:13.119 --> 01:08:13.519
I know.

01:08:15.920 --> 01:08:16.800
I stand against that.

01:08:17.760 --> 01:08:22.640
So you can't ride Rebecca Lobo in Washington.

01:08:23.439 --> 01:08:24.319
Don't be rude.

01:08:25.279 --> 01:08:26.640
In West Virginia.

01:08:27.119 --> 01:08:29.199
God, who knows what this is going to be.

01:08:29.359 --> 01:08:31.760
It's illegal to snooze on a train.

01:08:33.199 --> 01:08:37.600
And it's also unlawful for chickens to lay eggs before 8 a.m.

01:08:37.840 --> 01:08:38.720
and after 4 p.m.

01:08:39.039 --> 01:08:41.600
How do you fucking regulate a chicken?

01:08:44.159 --> 01:08:46.079
Were you going to take a chicken to jail?

01:08:46.560 --> 01:08:53.039
You grab that one and let it early, you pull that in front of the entire tanhouse, you chop its head off and go, now, all you other bitches learn.

01:08:53.279 --> 01:08:54.720
That's how it's got to be.

01:08:57.600 --> 01:08:59.359
Don't fucking lay the egg before it.

01:09:00.000 --> 01:09:00.880
Hold that fucker.

01:09:01.119 --> 01:09:01.840
Don't let it out.

01:09:02.000 --> 01:09:04.880
You try that, and I guarantee you they're not going to lay it on next day.

01:09:05.920 --> 01:09:08.239
How the hell do you train your chicken for daylight saving time?

01:09:08.560 --> 01:09:09.119
I don't know.

01:09:09.279 --> 01:09:09.680
Oh yeah.

01:09:09.920 --> 01:09:10.800
You don't have to train them.

01:09:11.600 --> 01:09:12.319
They're smarter than me.

01:09:14.960 --> 01:09:15.760
No, they're not.

01:09:16.000 --> 01:09:16.880
This kind of makes sense.

01:09:17.119 --> 01:09:21.039
When's the last time that you made a goddamn rooster crows all day long?

01:09:21.199 --> 01:09:22.159
When did you make a fresh egg?

01:09:22.399 --> 01:09:23.199
The sun already came up.

01:09:23.279 --> 01:09:23.680
Shut up.

01:09:23.760 --> 01:09:24.720
That's what I'm saying.

01:09:24.960 --> 01:09:26.319
Not you, the rooster.

01:09:26.560 --> 01:09:27.359
Well, you better not.

01:09:27.680 --> 01:09:28.640
You look at me like fuck.

01:09:28.960 --> 01:09:34.720
I made it I made a I made a I made a fresh egg after getting home after making all the green lights earlier.

01:09:34.800 --> 01:09:36.000
So okay, I got that.

01:09:36.960 --> 01:09:41.920
Did you know in Wisconsin at one time margarine was illegal?

01:09:42.319 --> 01:09:43.600
That should be the case in Wisconsin.

01:09:43.920 --> 01:09:46.000
It should be for that's perfect in Wisconsin.

01:09:46.239 --> 01:09:46.880
Yeah, that should be the case.

01:09:48.800 --> 01:09:49.760
That's the cheese capital there.

01:09:50.159 --> 01:09:50.399
Right.

01:09:50.720 --> 01:09:51.520
You should have fresh butter.

01:09:51.760 --> 01:09:52.319
Butter and cheese.

01:09:52.479 --> 01:09:52.640
Right.

01:09:52.720 --> 01:09:53.520
Yeah, that makes sense.

01:09:55.520 --> 01:09:57.680
Also, you're allowed to marry your house.

01:10:00.560 --> 01:10:01.760
Did they misspell husband?

01:10:02.000 --> 01:10:03.279
I'd like to see the ceremony.

01:10:04.960 --> 01:10:05.760
Dear house.

01:10:07.119 --> 01:10:08.479
But not in a skating ring.

01:10:08.880 --> 01:10:09.520
Do his part.

01:10:12.239 --> 01:10:13.600
But not in a skating ring.

01:10:13.840 --> 01:10:17.840
I think that's geared to where the in the divorce proceedings, the wife gets the house.

01:10:20.159 --> 01:10:20.880
That's different.

01:10:21.760 --> 01:10:24.079
Obviously, that was a female judge who put that in.

01:10:25.760 --> 01:10:26.560
Definitely.

01:10:26.960 --> 01:10:29.199
Do what man wins in a divorce?

01:10:29.760 --> 01:10:30.800
You might be surprised.

01:10:30.960 --> 01:10:32.880
When's the last time you got divorced?

01:10:33.520 --> 01:10:38.960
Man, if I divorced a house and I lost that case, I'd be fucking ridiculed for the rest of the world.

01:10:39.119 --> 01:10:40.800
Can you imagine a woman who lost a house in that divorce?

01:10:41.039 --> 01:10:42.319
You know, some people give away a house.

01:10:42.560 --> 01:10:43.359
What lawyer did you have?

01:10:43.520 --> 01:10:46.399
Hey, you know, some people some women give away a house.

01:10:47.600 --> 01:10:48.079
Really?

01:10:48.239 --> 01:10:53.760
Hey, Johnny Cochrane, can you uh please uh I'm not in that tamp it down, tamp it down.

01:10:53.920 --> 01:10:54.640
All right for you.

01:10:55.439 --> 01:10:57.359
There are some sane women in the world.

01:10:57.840 --> 01:11:00.079
So let's round this out with Wyoming.

01:11:00.560 --> 01:11:01.840
Wyoming that would be.

01:11:02.640 --> 01:11:07.119
You may not take a picture of a rabbit during the month of June.

01:11:08.159 --> 01:11:08.640
Too late.

01:11:08.960 --> 01:11:09.039
What?

01:11:10.079 --> 01:11:10.640
That makes sense.

01:11:11.359 --> 01:11:11.920
I understand that one.

01:11:12.159 --> 01:11:12.960
I understand that one completely.

01:11:13.119 --> 01:11:13.359
Do you really?

01:11:15.680 --> 01:11:16.560
Of course.

01:11:16.800 --> 01:11:17.920
Why would you?

01:11:18.479 --> 01:11:25.199
Also, it's illegal to tattoo a horse with the intent of making it unrecognizable to its owner.

01:11:25.520 --> 01:11:25.840
Who?

01:11:27.520 --> 01:11:28.319
Pay attention.

01:11:28.560 --> 01:11:29.279
Who fucking did that?

01:11:29.600 --> 01:11:34.640
It's illegal to tattoo a horse with the intent of making it unrecognizable to its owner.

01:11:34.880 --> 01:11:36.640
What if you named your horse Mike Tyson?

01:11:36.800 --> 01:11:38.079
I already told you how I feel about horses.

01:11:38.239 --> 01:11:40.880
And you can have a face tattoo on your fucking horse.

01:11:41.359 --> 01:11:43.199
And your owner still couldn't recognize it, huh?

01:11:43.359 --> 01:11:44.640
Your horse may still recognize you.

01:11:46.239 --> 01:11:48.960
So if it was if you name your horse, they'll report you if you do it.

01:11:49.119 --> 01:11:49.840
It'd be a horse.

01:11:50.239 --> 01:11:50.720
Horse.

01:11:51.039 --> 01:11:51.680
Horse.

01:11:54.159 --> 01:11:55.119
I had my horse.

01:11:55.920 --> 01:11:56.800
I had my horse.

01:11:57.520 --> 01:12:00.960
And I tattooed my horse, and then my horse doesn't look like me now.

01:12:01.359 --> 01:12:02.079
Horse tattooed.

01:12:02.319 --> 01:12:05.680
And you know what, Mike Tyson, please don't beat the fuck out of me for saying that.

01:12:06.479 --> 01:12:07.119
Because you could.

01:12:07.520 --> 01:12:08.479
Is he alive still?

01:12:08.720 --> 01:12:12.239
Yeah, he's alive, and he could kick the living shit out of me, so um, hopefully he'd be.

01:12:12.640 --> 01:12:13.760
On his deathbed, he probably could.

01:12:14.239 --> 01:12:15.199
On his deathbed he probably could.

01:12:15.600 --> 01:12:18.560
I thought he was like in the OJ category.

01:12:18.880 --> 01:12:18.960
No.

01:12:19.359 --> 01:12:23.920
No, he fought that media influencer, Jake, whatever his name was, like a year ago.

01:12:24.800 --> 01:12:25.680
Made a shitload of money.

01:12:25.840 --> 01:12:27.600
You know, he's from Cape Junction.

01:12:30.479 --> 01:12:32.479
The home of school buses for houses.

01:12:32.880 --> 01:12:33.039
Yeah.

01:12:34.479 --> 01:12:35.039
Makes sense.

01:12:35.279 --> 01:12:39.439
The guy, the influencer that he fought, who also fought lightly.

01:12:39.680 --> 01:12:42.399
Oh, you're you're good at it, don't worry.

01:12:44.640 --> 01:12:50.239
Uh the uh the other fight he had we made 69 million dollars and he got broke his jaw.

01:12:50.399 --> 01:12:50.800
What's his name?

01:12:50.960 --> 01:12:51.439
Jake Paul?

01:12:51.680 --> 01:12:52.239
Yeah, Jake Paul.

01:12:53.039 --> 01:12:54.000
He's from Cave Junction.

01:12:54.079 --> 01:12:54.399
Yeah.

01:12:54.960 --> 01:12:55.920
Wow, I didn't know that.

01:12:56.159 --> 01:12:59.199
Yeah, well, well, very few people do, because if I was him, I wouldn't let it out either.

01:12:59.279 --> 01:13:01.680
But it was a very uh promising feature for him.

01:13:02.000 --> 01:13:02.479
Well, it makes sense.

01:13:04.159 --> 01:13:06.079
I wonder how big his b school bus was.

01:13:06.640 --> 01:13:07.600
Short, very short.

01:13:08.000 --> 01:13:10.239
And loaded with pot smoke.

01:13:10.560 --> 01:13:11.520
Yeah, probably.

01:13:11.920 --> 01:13:18.720
Did you know Ronda Rousey from she has a local here?

01:13:19.119 --> 01:13:19.199
Yeah.

01:13:20.399 --> 01:13:21.279
Didn't write with that.

01:13:22.079 --> 01:13:23.039
So that's all I had.

01:13:23.600 --> 01:13:24.239
That's all she has.

01:13:24.399 --> 01:13:25.199
We're out of states.

01:13:25.520 --> 01:13:26.159
We're out of states.

01:13:26.399 --> 01:13:28.239
There's gotta be something shit in Canada.

01:13:29.279 --> 01:13:30.399
Well, they're not a state yet.

01:13:31.600 --> 01:13:32.560
They're not a state yet.

01:13:32.800 --> 01:13:33.279
Iceland.

01:13:35.680 --> 01:13:37.199
Mike, you walked right into it.

01:13:37.279 --> 01:13:38.560
You did a bad bunny.

01:13:39.760 --> 01:13:40.640
You did a bad bunny.

01:13:40.880 --> 01:13:41.840
You walked right into it.

01:13:42.079 --> 01:13:42.800
What state?

01:13:43.119 --> 01:13:43.760
Canada.

01:13:44.079 --> 01:13:44.640
Ecuador.

01:13:44.960 --> 01:13:46.159
I mean, Puerto Rico.

01:13:47.199 --> 01:13:47.760
El Sabah.

01:13:48.000 --> 01:13:48.399
Go to Greenland.

01:13:48.479 --> 01:13:48.960
We're buying that one.

01:13:49.279 --> 01:13:50.239
Venezuela.

01:13:50.800 --> 01:13:51.920
You walked right into that.

01:13:52.319 --> 01:13:54.239
Mike, you're gonna be the part of the halftime show next year.

01:13:54.319 --> 01:13:55.359
You're gonna be bad funny.

01:13:56.319 --> 01:13:57.039
Bad funny.

01:13:57.279 --> 01:13:58.079
He would, yeah.

01:13:58.239 --> 01:13:59.119
I'd like that.

01:13:59.279 --> 01:14:02.000
Actually, that would be funny to have a t-shirt of you.

01:14:02.239 --> 01:14:03.279
A bad funny.

01:14:03.359 --> 01:14:03.600
Yeah.

01:14:03.920 --> 01:14:04.560
Bad funny.

01:14:04.880 --> 01:14:05.680
Holding the football?

01:14:05.920 --> 01:14:07.039
Yeah, bad funny.

01:14:09.680 --> 01:14:10.640
Anyone want me to sing again?

01:14:11.119 --> 01:14:11.520
Yeah, I do.

01:14:11.760 --> 01:14:11.920
No.

01:14:12.079 --> 01:14:12.399
Yeah.

01:14:13.439 --> 01:14:14.319
I'll sing with you.

01:14:14.560 --> 01:14:14.880
Nah.

01:14:15.439 --> 01:14:17.199
How about you go and I'll be the backup singer.

01:14:17.359 --> 01:14:17.680
There you go.

01:14:17.760 --> 01:14:18.239
Go ahead, Chris.

01:14:18.800 --> 01:14:19.279
And I'll be in the house.

01:14:20.479 --> 01:14:21.600
I'll be in the house backing you up.

01:14:22.239 --> 01:14:25.279
I don't want to give her the mic because she sings like shit songs.

01:14:25.520 --> 01:14:25.840
Oh.

01:14:27.119 --> 01:14:29.680
Are you double dog daring me to sing Joni Mitchell?

01:14:29.840 --> 01:14:30.000
No.

01:14:30.159 --> 01:14:30.479
Yes.

01:14:30.800 --> 01:14:31.119
No.

01:14:32.079 --> 01:14:32.239
Okay.

01:14:33.039 --> 01:14:33.199
All right.

01:14:33.279 --> 01:14:33.600
Let's see.

01:14:33.760 --> 01:14:35.039
Let's see if you know the song.

01:14:35.279 --> 01:14:37.119
I just asked who Joni Mitchell was.

01:14:37.520 --> 01:14:38.159
She's unbathed.

01:14:38.560 --> 01:14:39.119
Are you kidding me?

01:14:39.199 --> 01:14:40.399
Okay, we're going to talk off the mic.

01:14:40.640 --> 01:14:41.199
She's unbathed.

01:14:41.439 --> 01:14:42.640
That's outrageous.

01:14:42.880 --> 01:14:43.279
All right.

01:14:43.439 --> 01:14:44.239
I may know the song.

01:14:44.319 --> 01:14:45.039
I just don't know who she is.

01:14:45.520 --> 01:14:45.680
Ready?

01:14:46.079 --> 01:14:46.239
No.

01:14:47.760 --> 01:14:50.800
She's gonna she's gonna sign us out here with a song.

01:14:51.119 --> 01:14:52.479
Yeah, you gonna play us out with this?

01:14:52.720 --> 01:14:53.439
Peace out, everybody.

01:14:53.520 --> 01:14:53.840
Thank you.

01:14:54.079 --> 01:14:54.239
Okay.

01:14:57.840 --> 01:14:58.399
Play us out.

01:14:58.479 --> 01:15:00.159
What the fuck does play us out mean?

01:15:03.920 --> 01:15:05.439
Are you tuning yourself?

01:15:06.000 --> 01:15:09.439
Well, I keep on thinking about you.

01:15:09.840 --> 01:15:12.399
Sister Golden Hair Surprise.

01:15:12.720 --> 01:15:13.359
Tiffany McJay.

01:15:13.439 --> 01:15:13.680
I got you.

01:15:13.760 --> 01:15:15.760
And almost finishradiopodcast.com.

01:15:16.159 --> 01:15:17.680
Live without you.

01:15:17.920 --> 01:15:18.880
Can't you see?

01:15:19.199 --> 01:15:24.560
You're supposed to see one more.

01:15:25.039 --> 01:15:25.680
Subscribe and listen.

01:15:26.560 --> 01:15:27.119
Not after this.

01:15:27.279 --> 01:15:27.840
No, go ahead.

01:15:28.079 --> 01:15:29.760
I've been sound pretty good.

01:15:29.840 --> 01:15:30.399
I'll sing yourself.

01:15:32.159 --> 01:15:36.720
But it I just can't chew off of mine.

01:15:39.760 --> 01:15:40.159
Alright.

01:15:40.800 --> 01:15:42.159
It sounded way better than you're talking.

01:15:44.960 --> 01:15:46.000
I'm not sure.

01:15:46.159 --> 01:15:49.279
She can't sing that good, you know, because she's No, you're supposed to be joining me.

01:15:49.359 --> 01:15:49.760
That's why.

01:15:51.680 --> 01:15:53.840
Love me just a little.

01:15:54.399 --> 01:15:57.359
Just see enough to show you care.

01:15:58.239 --> 01:16:00.560
Will I try to fake it?

01:16:03.039 --> 01:16:04.720
Just can't make it.

01:16:04.960 --> 01:16:06.159
Thank you, Brackley.

01:16:06.479 --> 01:16:09.520
I got the back of Arcoli in the blast lyric.

01:16:09.920 --> 01:16:11.119
Thank you, finally.

01:16:11.439 --> 01:16:12.640
That's all they wanted to hear from me.

01:16:17.119 --> 01:16:19.359
Sorry for the Johnny Mitchell, but that's okay.

01:16:28.640 --> 01:16:29.680
Thanks, everybody.

01:16:49.680 --> 01:16:52.560
So I heard some of them like, okay, I'll pick up that last one.

01:16:52.800 --> 01:16:54.960
So we're still on here, so you want to go ahead and sing one more, Mike?

01:16:55.119 --> 01:16:55.840
No, no, I'm good.

01:16:55.920 --> 01:16:56.079
Yeah.

01:16:56.159 --> 01:16:56.319
Okay.

01:16:56.399 --> 01:16:56.640
No, no.

01:16:56.880 --> 01:16:57.279
He does.

01:16:58.960 --> 01:16:59.760
We're off air now.

01:17:00.399 --> 01:17:01.600
The Hotel California.

01:17:02.239 --> 01:17:02.960
Karen knows.

01:17:03.039 --> 01:17:03.279
I know.

01:17:03.359 --> 01:17:03.760
Don't do that.

01:17:04.079 --> 01:17:05.680
The Little Hotel California for us.

01:17:05.840 --> 01:17:06.479
The hotel.

01:17:11.680 --> 01:17:13.119
I can do the drum souls.

01:17:13.760 --> 01:17:15.199
That is baby.

01:17:15.439 --> 01:17:17.760
No, that's uh what sound like that?

01:17:18.479 --> 01:17:18.560
Okay.